I've seen projectile vomit in movies before. The most
notable would be the Exorcist, but
who could forget Gordie Lechance’s short story in Stand By Me? For an interesting connection, in the Exorcist, Regan
warns the astronaut that he will die in space (he doesn't) and Gordie went to
space aboard the USS Enterprise (although his name was taken by another lover
of literature and former escaped slave, I presume in exchange for a pot of gold
at the end of the rainbow). But gratuitous film and TV references aside, I have
finally experienced this phenomenon for myself.
After doing some plumbing yesterday after work, I retired early
and was asleep by 9 PM. Having slept but two hours, I was brutally awakened
when my bed-mate’s demonic entity decided to hurl on my arm. Unsure of what had
just transpired, I sat up, thankful the electric blanket was unscathed, turned
to her, and gave her the wtf face. She apologized, slid out of bed, but not
before allowing me to bear witness to the esophageal wonder, this time in the
middle of the bed. It was mostly liquid, but had some mystery chunks, like in a
fish tank. She shed a few tears from embarrassment, and then gave me an encore
performance, again, onto the bed. Moving quickly, I pulled the bed sheet up. It
had soaked through, but luckily the mattress cover stopped it dead in its
tracks (thank you, Christopher Adams 1800
series.) While in the bathroom, under the shower renewing my tainted flesh, I
missed a finale on the kitchen floor, which I also got to clean up.
A load of laundry later, washed and dried, sheets were back
on the bed and I was snoozing again, eventually going into work three hours
later than usual, because a man needs his sleep. I don’t think this experience
was really worth it, and unless you have an odd fetish, I suggest you observe
only via other media. Sure, it’s awesome to see it live, but not when you are
an unsuspecting victim. This is also an example of why switching from healthy
eating to fast food is not always a wise decision and that you should listen to
your body when it tells you it can’t handle something. A bucket now sits
nearby, just in case.
Archaeologists will one day uncover
my blog and pay tribute.