Every Holiday Should Follow a Drinking Code

I was thinking the other day about how everyone has to drink a green beer on St. Patty's and that it would be awesome to do the same thing for other holidays we observe. For instance, Independence Day here in the States (or anywhere else) could have a layered cocktail with red, white and blue (or your country's flag colors); or just a PBR? But then I realized that Columbus Day celebrates a tyrannical colonizer who had the natives dismembered and that drinking a red beer to remember the shedding of their innocent blood could be confused with honoring the actions against them. Memorial Day would also be confusing, since I'm not sure if we should drink to honor the fallen of the North, South, or both, during the Civil War. The wars thereafter are clear enough, but being born in a neutral state and descended from people who fought on both sides makes it difficult to choose. I guess I could mix two beers, but that sounds gross. Speaking of gross, all of those pumpkin beers could just as easily represent Halloween and Thanksgiving. My point is that something fun and festive is, as usual, ruined by people wanting to be politically correct. I get that it's offensive to honor Christopher Columbus (it really is), and I also get that Thanksgiving is a huge exaggeration of a historical event, and that Christmas celebrates the birth of someone who had the ridiculous idea that everyone should be treated with love and mutual respect, etc., etc., but you're ruining my good time and I just can't ever decided what to drink anymore, so I hope my choices piss you off.     

I will be drinking this to honor

 Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.