Coffin Birth

Coffin birth is not a subject for the squeamish. Basically, a woman dies, while pregnant, and something, usually decomposition, forces her to expel the fetus of her child. For the most part, all tales of babies being born in actual coffins are bullshit, especially with today's burial practices. However, there are a few interesting cases of it happening, albeit not in a coffin. One of them took place in India, where a woman, 8 months pregnant, couldn't find the will to go on anymore and hung herself. The contractions, having already started prior to the incident, continued long enough to force the baby out and it lived. Not trying to make light of this, as I found it to be exceptionally grim, term aside, but I figured I might as well pass it on. 

Coffin Birth Wiki

Unethical Human Esperimentation

I was just perusing the eponymous Wikipedia article when I read about Frank Olson. I had heard the story before, but it was a nice refresher. Basically, he was a scientist working for the CIA who was given a wicked dose of LSD, which caused him to hallucinate, go crazy, and then throw himself from a building. Or he was murdered. The CIA was quiet about it because they were testing on the rest of the populace. This is why you don't trust your government and you turn to people like Jesse Ventura for your news.

Human Experimentation Wiki
Frank Olson Wiki
MKULTRA Wiki
Jesse Ventura Wiki

The Dungarvon Whooper

There is nothing I like to do better on laundry day than watch TV shows and maybe cook something to eat; I hate cooking. So I had some chili on a hot ass day while I did laundry, making it even warmer. In contrast, I watched a TV show, can’t remember what it was called, and they mentioned the Dungarvon Whooper. I know, that looks like a Burger King whopper made out of a pile of shit, but it’s actually an old ghost story from Canada, New Brunswick I believe.

In short, this Irish kid works for a lumber camp, which apparently gets snowed in and they are running out of food. The kid, Ryan, is presented as a hard worker who saves his money to help pay for his mother’s medical care and I assume alcohol, since he’s Irish. One day, some of the men threaten the boss of the camp because they’re hungry, letting him know they’ll have his ass when they return from work if they don’t have any food. Once they leave, the boss decides what better way to feed them than to kill the kid and cook him, (because hunting in the woods, or fishing on the river, is apparently not an option and has never crossed any of their minds.) When the lumberjacks return, they brush their beards, tighten their jeans, downvote pre-2000 psych rock on reddit, and spin the latest Tame Impala album; lumberjacks love the manly sounds of Tame Impala. That night they hear the whooping sounds in the woods. The ghost of Ryan apparently calls out, something he couldn’t do before his death. Or maybe he was cooked in a kettle, like tea, and that was the sound he made when he was done?

Unfortunately, the Wiki article isn’t as entertaining and what little research I did on the internet also didn’t have such a revealing story. The kid dies, sure, but him being made into stew isn’t really covered. I also just now remembered the name of the show. It’s called Hauntings and Horrors and it’s on Destination America, which explains why half of the details were made up for the show. Still an interesting story.

Dungarvon Whooper Wiki

Don't Drink the Water at the Cecil Hotel

The Cecil Hotel was a real shit hole somewhere in Los Angeles. You could stay there for less than $500 a month, which, might I remind you, isn’t a lot of money in LA. Built in 1927, it has several hundred rooms, and has been rented by some very famous people. Richard Ramirez worshipped the devil, and killed 13 people, while only paying $14 a night for his room. Jack Unterweger, an Australian “rehabilitated” rapist and murderer, killed a handful more prostitutes while staying there for a few weeks. Even before that, there had been a handful of murders, and maybe even disappearances, not to mention a long string of suicides, including one jumper who took out a pedestrian. A few years ago it became news because Elisa Lam's strange pre-death video made headlines, where she acted strange on the elevator and eventually drowned in the water tower on the roof. She was found a few weeks later when people complained about the taste and smell of the water. Normally, Wikipedia is the go to website for info, but I found the blog, Pantless Alley, to be far superior this time. 

Cecil Hotel Wiki

Gloria Ramirez

They're all monsters. The only difference is they're in your bed instead of under it. -Mrs. Anderson, House of Good and Evil

The above quote has nothing to do with Gloria Ramirez. She was a lady who wound up in the emergency room. Not out of the ordinary, I know, but eventually three people who treated her passed out. They noticed something was odd about her, so they did an emergency evacuation on the entire ER to protect the other patients and staff. The doctors think she was using a chemical solvent for pain relief and when they broke out the defibrillators to get her heart going again, it converted it to a toxic substance. Science, bitch! 

Gloria Ramirez Wiki

Jack Parsons

I have a pounding headache today and don't feel like doing much so here are two things. One, I was asked by a random member of the Anti-Social Club if I would be interested in participating in a discussion about my "work" here for her thesis on personality. No. Two, I was just now looking up Jack Williamson's wiki when I cam across Jack Parsons, again, since I've read about him before. There is something really interesting about people who have anything to do with space travel AND the occult. I'll leave you to make your own conclusions. 

Jack Parsons' Wiki

Starbucks Ain't Got Nothin' On This!

How do I explain this? First, we have coffee beans. Then we have the Asian palm civet. I doubt you know what that is, and I don't feel comfortable telling you it's a jungle cat, that looks more like a rat, or ferret, or possum, or even a raccoon. So this cat eats the coffee beans, and then shits them out. Next, some unlucky bastard gets to pick through their shit, selecting the choicest beans, packaging them, and selling them as Kopi Luwak. It's an Indonesian premium blend, and by premium, it's supposedly sells for $3000 a kilo, and by blend, as I've explained, it's blended with jungle cat shit. 

But I know what you're thinking, not all of us are wealthy enough to afford that. For just a third of the price, Black Ivory Coffee is slowly processed in the bowels of elephants for up to three days, before dropping in a big, steaming pile and ready for shipment. There's that old adage here at the Anti-Social Club that goes something like "rich people would eat their own feces if you charged them enough" and it certainly is close. 

So the next time you decide to bash people for frequenting over-priced coffee shop, just remember that you could be at home, ingesting the beans yourself, plucking them from your toilet, and starting the next biggest trend. 

Republicans have the best coffee.

Cat Shit Wiki

Elephant Shit Wiki

Henry "Box" Brown

This guy was the Houdini of slaves, and while I admire and respect his struggle, the fact that he left his family in slavery still makes him a piece of shit. 

Henry "Box" Brown Wiki

Starring Richard Pryor as "The Toy."