I am thankful for Xylophones because of girls, all I really
want is girls, and in the morning, it's girls, cause in the evening, it's
girls. Yeah, the Beastie Boys were awesome and used a xylophone on that song. If you've not heard it, you were probably raised by religious fundamentalist,
off-the-grid survivalists, or some other group ending in an ists. Let us
compare xylophones to cellphones to see which you should be thankful for. Cellphones
allow you to talk to people, text people, surf the internet, play games, play
music, watch movies, take pictures, and can even act as an emergency sex toy.
Xylophones, however, do not track your location or give you brain cancer.
Winner, xylophones.
The most popular xylophones believe in gay rights.
No one knows if they go to hell or not though.