A blind man comes to my blog and wonders what I am writing about.
On the other side of the world, a man trapped inside a cave can only
communicate via Myspace and Morse code. I’m caught in the middle, unsure of
what to do.
Back to the blind man, he
must know why I am so angry. It is a question that has taken over his life.
Only thing is, he can’t read my blog to find out. The only person to help him
out is none other than Tom from Myspace. In case you don’t know, he’s that
douche that auto adds you when you get an account, and when you delete him, he
still shows up in your bulletins and sends you messages, or whatever the fuck
he wants. Oddly enough, despite not even being an owner anymore, he seems to be
their spokesperson.
On the other side of the
world, a man is trapped in a tea mine. I assumed they mined tea because it
comes in powder form now, much like salt. The inhalation of the fine-grains
makes him have to piss severely, only he can’t because someone has him locked
in the mine and there is no bathroom. He opens up his laptop, the Wi-Fi
connects, but because of the interference, his Google search for eHow’s “how to
get out of a tea mine” only brings up a list of things I hate. He clicks it,
reads, learns, then sends me Morse code asking for my help.
These are the annoying dots
you see in my blog. I didn’t put them there. At first they made sense. I guess,
since Myspace is a huge mess of coding that should be outlawed, that the
spacing on Microsoft Word, when imported into it, comes up as two dots. I can
get that. What I can’t get is the ellipsis in various places. My entries now
read like a 56K modem trying to connect. You’re going, going, waiting, waiting,
going, waiting, waiting… fucking primitive.
I have other theories as well,
such as burnt out pixels in my high def monitor that just so happen to be dead
in the same exact areas. Or it could be the world’s smallest painting,
un-viewable by the naked eye, painted by the world’s smallest expressionist and
I could be rich right now. Either way, I hate it. If Myspace was a small dog in
a pink sweater with bells on its collar, I would kick it. No, that’s not the
next blog entry.