Have I Mentioned How Awesome Stake Land (2010) Is?

It's no secret I like horror films. It might surprise you that I have a weakness for vampire hunter films, myself an avid slayer before having my license revoked several years ago. But there's more to this film than just that.

I never watch a film more than once in a year, unless someone else is watching it, I fell asleep, or it rules. I've watched this film three times on the past year and have now seen it five times. I own it, the soundtrack, a British movie poster of it, and to be completely honest, hope that there is a sequel to it in 2020.

What's it about you ask?

Kicking vampire ass. If you like those coming of age, end of the world films like Terminator 2: Judgement Day, and Patrick Swayze minus the romantic subplots he forced on us, then you'll love this film and now have no excuse not to see it. It's available for streaming in Netflix, but you might as well buy it. Additionally, there are 7 webisode prequel shorts from Glass Eye Pix, none of which are available in my country, so I decided to sidestep and list them here thanks to some other film company uploading them. I encourage you to watch the short films after the film, but if you're an Antisocial reader, you'll probably ignore me. 

Origins

Belle

Jebedia

Willie

Sister

Martin

Mister

You're 26% conservative, 74% liberal.

I took this quiz by Time. Those were my result, but the only problem is I do whatever the hell I want. I think a lot of people do, so these Conservative and Liberal categories are nothing short of forced choice. My responses are in parentheses.  

Liberal qualities
You like fusion cuisine (I'm not a rich, white person, so I barely know what this is.)
You think it's okay for your partner to look at porn alone (Or when she's with me.)
You use a modern browser (Chrome.)
You wish there were no countries (Only because I don't want to pay for a passport.)
You prefer the Met to Times Square (Museums are quieter and fewer people bother you.)
You're not completely proud of your country's history (My ancestors killed my ancestors.)

Conservative qualities
You like dogs more than cats (Cats are useless pets; ore on this tomorrow.) 
You prefer action movies to documentaries (Too many documentaries revolve around the director.)
You think kids should respect authority (The kids I see today should have been beaten.)
You like a neat desk (Only at work, otherwise I don't care.)
You think self-control trumps self-expression (If self-expression trumped self-control, I'd be in prison.)
You think the government should treat the lives of its citizens as much more valuable than those of other countries (If I'm going to be robbed every paycheck, I expect to get something in return.)

Now take it yourself, or not:

http://science.time.com/2014/01/09/can-time-predict-your-politics/

Starbucks Ain't Got Nothin' On This!

How do I explain this? First, we have coffee beans. Then we have the Asian palm civet. I doubt you know what that is, and I don't feel comfortable telling you it's a jungle cat, that looks more like a rat, or ferret, or possum, or even a raccoon. So this cat eats the coffee beans, and then shits them out. Next, some unlucky bastard gets to pick through their shit, selecting the choicest beans, packaging them, and selling them as Kopi Luwak. It's an Indonesian premium blend, and by premium, it's supposedly sells for $3000 a kilo, and by blend, as I've explained, it's blended with jungle cat shit. 

But I know what you're thinking, not all of us are wealthy enough to afford that. For just a third of the price, Black Ivory Coffee is slowly processed in the bowels of elephants for up to three days, before dropping in a big, steaming pile and ready for shipment. There's that old adage here at the Anti-Social Club that goes something like "rich people would eat their own feces if you charged them enough" and it certainly is close. 

So the next time you decide to bash people for frequenting over-priced coffee shop, just remember that you could be at home, ingesting the beans yourself, plucking them from your toilet, and starting the next biggest trend. 

Republicans have the best coffee.

Cat Shit Wiki

Elephant Shit Wiki

Projectile Dysfunction

I've seen projectile vomit in movies before. The most notable would be the Exorcist, but who could forget Gordie Lechance’s short story in Stand By Me? For an interesting connection, in the Exorcist, Regan warns the astronaut that he will die in space (he doesn't) and Gordie went to space aboard the USS Enterprise (although his name was taken by another lover of literature and former escaped slave, I presume in exchange for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow). But gratuitous film and TV references aside, I have finally experienced this phenomenon for myself.

After doing some plumbing yesterday after work, I retired early and was asleep by 9 PM. Having slept but two hours, I was brutally awakened when my bed-mate’s demonic entity decided to hurl on my arm. Unsure of what had just transpired, I sat up, thankful the electric blanket was unscathed, turned to her, and gave her the wtf face. She apologized, slid out of bed, but not before allowing me to bear witness to the esophageal wonder, this time in the middle of the bed. It was mostly liquid, but had some mystery chunks, like in a fish tank. She shed a few tears from embarrassment, and then gave me an encore performance, again, onto the bed. Moving quickly, I pulled the bed sheet up. It had soaked through, but luckily the mattress cover stopped it dead in its tracks  (thank you, Christopher Adams 1800 series.) While in the bathroom, under the shower renewing my tainted flesh, I missed a finale on the kitchen floor, which I also got to clean up.

A load of laundry later, washed and dried, sheets were back on the bed and I was snoozing again, eventually going into work three hours later than usual, because a man needs his sleep. I don’t think this experience was really worth it, and unless you have an odd fetish, I suggest you observe only via other media. Sure, it’s awesome to see it live, but not when you are an unsuspecting victim. This is also an example of why switching from healthy eating to fast food is not always a wise decision and that you should listen to your body when it tells you it can’t handle something. A bucket now sits nearby, just in case.

Archaeologists will one day uncover

 my blog and pay tribute.

The Polar Vortex Wasn't Caused by Climate Change

It was caused by aliens. 

In the latest push for people to sound more intelligent than others, everyone is mocking people who keep saying the polar vortex is proof global warming isn't real, while on the other hand talking about how the polar vortex is due to global warming. You're both wrong; neither side is right. Yes, everyone agrees the planet is warming and they're pretty sure it's influenced by human activities (i.e. your very existence.) If you disagree, you're arguing against a large group of people who know what they're talking about and have been saying this for a long time and for whatever reason the politicians are listening to them now. But politicians claiming it's all a hoax are usually the kind you only vote for because you agree about one or two issues. Michelle Bachman, Todd Akin, and all the other tards think whatever isn't hurting anyone is bad, and whatever is is really a hoax. Al Gore is no better with his ridiculous estimations that we'd be living in Waterworld right now. Polar vortexes happen and have happened for a long time. I had never heard the term until this month. I said it. I'm not ashamed to admit that I don't know everything. There's nothing wrong with Googling. Most people do it all the time to try and look smart, only they're ashamed to admit they didn't know something. The media's dumb; they usually don't Google anything before covering it and pretending they know what they're talking about. Stop letting them be your brains. 

Obamacare and Why You Should Worry About the NSA

Obamacare "got the ball rolling" according to all of my doctors, but none of them like it. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad. You should worry about the NSA if you're a terrorist, or an avid porn hobbyist that one day wants to run for political office. It also sucks they're spying on everyone, but nobody cares apparently. 
No, this blog post had nothing much to do with Obamacare, but I must confess, the fact that so many people don't care their government is spying on them serves them right. The NSA relentlessly watched my posting history on several social networks only to conclude they were wasting tax payer's money, because no one cares about the conspiracies I was unraveling. 
So what if Barack Obama and Pope Francis really are the two beasts from the book of Revelations? These guys can do whatever they want without criticism from everyone but right-wing, fundamentalists, who in the end will get to say, "I told you so." God, I hope I die first. But that's the beauty of appropriating old texts to modern day. You can make anything fit and I've done it convincingly. People cannot tell if I'm joking or not and it honestly doesn't matter. In the end, I get to say, "I told you so."

"Charles Darwin ain't got nothin' on me!"

Tablet Update

I've been trying to update daily all of my antisocial ramblings and the one thing I'm certain of, besides the record breaking length of this sentence, is that updating from a tablet does indeed suck. Randomness is our friend.

The Brutally Honest Horror Scope

This horoscope was written a long time ago and I'm tired of people passing it around, censoring it, and getting the damn dates wrong to boot. 

Aquarius (Jan 21 - Feb 19) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk. 

Pisces (Feb 20 - Mar 20) You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick. 

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20) You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit. 

Taurus (Apr 21 - May 21) You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist. 

Gemini (May 22 - June 21) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest. 

Cancer (June 22 - July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a crap. Everyone in prison is a Cancer. 

Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving bastards. 

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 23) You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while doing it. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps. 

Libra (Sept 24 - Oct 23) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease. 

Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered. 

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 21) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of crap. 

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickencrap. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

Marijuana Fumes Cause Global Warming

It amazes me that a substance, such as marijuana, is illegal in our country for no reason whatsoever, yet people still trust their government's every word. There's a lot of bullshit going on in our governments. No, I'm not just talking about the United States, but every government in the world. Lobbyist are paying off politicians to side with their interests and laws are passed because of these payoffs. Think I'm talking about conspiracy? Ask yourself why file-sharing music is illegal? 

The answer is because the Recording Industry of America's members, Universal, Warner, and Sony, got bent out of shape over lost profits, inflated them, and then declared war on the people of the United States judicial system, in effect changing laws. I'm not going to get into what's right and wrong about file-sharing because you should already know it. But there used to be five major labels. Then four. And now three. Consolidation is a good thing, right? Monopolies are illegal, but I've got a feeling when there are two big labels, the government won't be so quick about doing anything about it. Wait and see. 

Hannibal Lecter on drums. 

I Only Listen To Contemporary Christian Polka Music

There are way too many people in the world who think their opinions matter; their opinions are wrong. When it comes to music, which is a form of art, you can't pretend to be a critic when you listen to only one genre (or maybe one genre and all related genres.)Music constantly builds off of previous music, just like paintings build off of previous experiences. Saying you only listen to one genre of music and then forcing your opinions about music off on someone is like saying you don't like the color yellow in paintings. So do us all a favor and stop walling yourself in, or shut up and stop waiting our time with your reviews of something you hate because you think everyone else in your scene will, too. 

This artist sucks.

Review: Covington-opoly

You may have seen knock-offs of Monopoly before, but this is a licensed version, based on the city I was born and raised in, Covington, KY. Every time I go back to Covington I think to myself, damn, this place gets worse each and every time. I blame a lot of it on city government, which has gone out of their way to do nothing for the people trying to make it a decent place to live, but have instead handed money over to people who want to buy properties at ridiculously low rates, flip them, and then charge so much that no one from the city can afford to live in them. 

The game is the same way. It's the same Monopoly, only they've replaced properties with real ones from Covington. Some are historic places, but the "well known landmarks" are businesses that have been there for a few years, no one from the city uses them, or even knows they exist, and I'm pretty sure paid for them like an advertising spot. If you want a real Covington version of Monopoly, 3 of the 4 sides should be abandoned houses, drug and prostitution apartments, or vacant lots, you should lose money every time you pass go, and there would be no Chance cards. 

Covington-opoly represents all of the transplants that have taken over select neighborhoods of the city. Basically, they weren't high enough on the social ladder in their neighborhood because they didn't make enough money, so instead they moved as close to the business district as possible, investing in business opportunities for others like them, so that they can be the new rich people in town. If you loved Covington so much you would wipe that stupid smile off your face and not insult us with your North Face jacket and expensive running shoes. Get lost. 

 Yes, someone really makes these postcards. 

Paranormal Shows Rule

If one believes in the paranormal or not is irrelevant when it comes to enjoying shows about them. I normally have them on Friday, because they tend to marathon them and they make for great background noise while I'm doing laundry and various chores. You might be scoffing, or rolling your eyes, but have you ever read the plot synopsis? 

The Haunted: "House of the Rising Dead" (TV-PG,V,L)(2010) New Homeowner in New Orleans make alarming discoveries during repair work, including tarot cards (wait for it) and human remains.

A Haunting: "The Unleashed" (TV-PG,V,L)(2006) A man unearths an Indian burial ground, and demons turn on his family and threaten their lives. 

Insanislupus Chronicles: "The Dragon Slayer" (TV-MA,D,L,S,V)(2014) A Chinese family unearths a dragon's lair in their basement and it reigns terror on their village, demanding human sacrifice and virgins. Insanislupus is called to investigate, but discovers no virgins in the village. 

 No match for the Anti-Social Club. 

Your Beard Looks Stupid

I can't grow a beard. It instead looks like I'm growing one for six months. I don't like shaving, but looking like a homeless drifter doesn't really suit me most of the time, so I shave occasionally. Could I grow one, I'd totally rock it, but I'm not waiting an entire year for the damn thing to grow in full. 

Beards are currently in style, and a bunch of feminized men have taken it upon themselves to declare that having a beard makes you a real man. Pft. Yeah, tell that to all of the police officers, firemen, EMTs, soldiers, etc. all or most of which do not have beards due to regulations. 

If you grow a beard because you want one, great. If you grow a beard because you hate shaving, even greater. If you're growing a beard to be cool, you're not. Stop. 

There are three beards in ZZ Top.  

Stop Complaining About the Weather

It's winter. When it's winter, it gets colder than the rest of the year. That's more or less the definition of winter. There's no need to let us all know on the various social networks that it's cold or that it's snowing. That normally comes with winter. 

"According to Facebook, I'm seeing

increased temperatures in the north."

Men Are Better Than Women at Tennis

Karsten Braasch, from Germany, defeated both Serena and Venus Williams. You've probably never heard of him, which is fine, because he's one of the worst male tennis players ever. However, he's better than two of the best female tennis players ever. He rules. 

Thankful to be playing women again.

2014

"War puts a man through many, many changes." - David Frazier

Ragnarok will be here on February 22nd. Not sure if time zones matter. But you've been warned. 

Yesterday my blog reached a milestone. I wanted to have readers in 60 countries before the end of the year, you know, because it's such a nice, round number, and in true anti-social fashion, we picked up a total of 61. But I'll be short. 2013 sucked, and apparently it's cool now to say the previous year sucked, but unfortunately, the number of deaths among friends and family, my personal financial situation I'm just now climbing out of, and the fact that it just didn't go anywhere near as planned made it crap. I'm going to make this year much better, with or without everyone else. 

A random picture of Ving Rhames. 

My New Year's Resolution

My New Year's resolution is to not have a New Year's resolution. Most people don't even keep the promise they made to themselves. Why are you doing that to yourself? Instead, you should make one that you can do immediately, like going to Bangladesh for vacation. I have no clue what's there, or anything about the people, but it's something you can jump on a plane, train, or automobile right now and do. I already know I'm going to be bombarded by people claiming they're going to the gym, or quit smoking, etc. only to have these posts clear up midway through the year (at best). But then the same New Year's resolution pops up again next year. This cycle doesn't have to be vicious. Tell all your friends you're going on vacation for yours and meet me on the Ganges river. End of discussion. 

Bangladesh has World War Z going on right now, 

so never mind. Meet me in Florida. 

You Probably Don't Watch Duck Dynasty

     I don’t watch Duck Dynasty. I couldn’t pick Phil Robertson out of a lineup. I don’t really care what he said, because I’m indifferent to his opinion. In other words, I could care less what his opinions are, because I’ve formed my own. For most of us in the United States, our parents grew up in a portion of Americana that their parents and grandparents carved out for them. They made the decision to believe one way or the other. I don’t fault them for it. Your views would be completely different if you were raised elsewhere and by different people. Inequality sucks. But it still exist, although not as great as it once was. I laugh when people today get bent out of shape because they believe they’re entitled to something. Freedom is fought for. Leaving comments on Reddit doesn’t constitute campaigning against something. Stop pretending you’re a part of a cause just because your comment karma increased. One man made comments that aren’t popular. He never waved them in anyone’s face. The media once again has played you. You’re not racist. You’re not sexist. You’re not homophobic. You’re not the majority of the labels people want you to give. Unless I’m asking you a forced yes or no question, there are more than two answers. My answer to if I think Phil Robertson should be kept off of television is I don’t care. I have the power to turn Duck Dynasty on or off, and so do you. The end.

"His personal views in no way reflect those of A&E Networks, who have always been strong supporters and champions of the LGBT community," as well as championing ridiculous stereotypes of white southerners.

Celebrities Are People, Too

In just one week, the world lost Paul Walker, famous for his Fast & the Furious films, and then Nelson Mandela, famous for battling apartheid in South Africa. The other fifty or so notable people to die in that week obviously weren’t in the spotlight enough for others to care. I get that it’s only nice to be sympathetic about someone’s passing, but when it comes to celebrities, people become even more full of shit than normal.

I’m not saying that no one should care about famous people dying; It was amazing how much positive press Paul Walker got, but more amazing how it was immediately followed by the wannabe sociopaths who joked about it and mocked him, despite probably being a part of his film franchise’s success by regularly going to the box office in support. I personally didn’t give a damn about the film franchise, but I’m not a complete asshole and didn’t advertise that his name was never a selling point for a film I would watch. He died and it sucked for him, his daughter, the rest of his family, his friends, and his fans. I remained silent while most understandably grieved. And then others decided it was time to be a turncoat and start one-upmanship with who can be the most sadistic. No one is impressed with your poorly timed and poorly attempted dark humor.

I’ve never seen anyone mention Nelson Mandela on Facebook or Twitter, but upon his death, everyone was quoting him, talking about how much he was a deep influence on their lives, and jumping on the bandwagon about how great he was. Had any of that been true, you’d have joined his fight against AIDS/HIV, climate change, poverty, etc. but I’m sure most never knew any of the organizations he worked with. No, I’m not criticizing anyone for not knowing much about him. Politics are not fun; politics can be scary. Hell, our country labeled him as a terrorist and honestly, it takes a lot of research to realize you really can’t trust certain aspects of your own government. But if you really thing lying about someone’s legacy as it pertains to you is a show of respect, you’re wrong. I’m sure Mandela would rather have you be honest, admit your first exposure was confusing him for Morgan Freeman, and then read his Wiki page to see what he’s about.

RIP Paul Walker, Nelson Mandela, and everyone else who has gone before us.  

"Titty sprinkles."

Boycott Soul Temple Music: The Final Update

This is a response to this post: http://insanislupus.blogspot.com/2013/09/boycott-soul-temple-music-update.html

Although I thought the struggle was over back in September, apparently that was not the case. However, it is now finally being resolved. I've been contacted by several people who are finally getting their refunds, primarily out of the RZA's pocket, so I commend him for that and ask that everyone cease their ban on his music. That doesn't include lifting the ban on his poorly run label, Soul Temple Music. Given time, this may change, but it was based in New York City, where 9,000,000 music artists have been running their own merchandise like professionals since music was invented, and for that, there is no excuse. If this has taught us anything, it's that we should buy from our local shops, money exchanged for items in hand. I hope the RZA learned his lesson and I will no longer have to blog about him. 

Or until someone gets ripped off.

Henry "Box" Brown

This guy was the Houdini of slaves, and while I admire and respect his struggle, the fact that he left his family in slavery still makes him a piece of shit. 

Henry "Box" Brown Wiki

Starring Richard Pryor as "The Toy."

The October Horror Movie Challenge 2013 (Week 4, 5, and Final Thoughts)

I'm not going to lie and act like I was overwhelmed and couldn't keep up with updating this list every week, but now that it's November, I have no desire to play catch up. Rather than just not create a new blog entry and move on to something more interesting, I decided to post my final results of where each film stands, complete with no links or descriptions. It's what being anti-social is all about. 

62 movies, 31 days. By category, in order of viewing. 

My favorites:
Thale (2012), The Seasoning House (2012), Jug Face (2013), The Road (2011), The Burrowers (2008), Resolution (2012), We Are What We Are (2013), Kill List (2011), The Battery (2012), Sightseers (2012), I Sell the Dead (2008), Byzantium (2012).

I really enjoyed:
Uzumaki (2000), Rare Exports (2010), Wake Wood (2010), Curse of Chucky (2013), Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010), The Woman in Black (2012), The Woman (2011), American Mary (2012), Maniac (2012), Seventh Moon (2008), The Blood Spattered Bride (1972), Ritual/Modus Anomali (2012), Under the Bed (2012), World War Z (2013), Bereavement (2010), V/H/S/2 (2013), Ritual (2002), Mama (2013), Drag Me to Hell (2009).

These were okay:
The Last Will and Testament of Rosalind Leigh (2012), The Reeds (2010), One Dark Night (1982), Cherry Falls (2000), Sam's Lake (2006), Cravings/Daddy's Girl (2006), The Ward (2010), Occupant (2011), Shadow People (2013), Malevolence (2003), The Fourth Kind (2009), Chicago Massacre: Richard Speck (2007), Barrio Tales (2012), Blood Creek (2009).

These were forgettable:
The Shrine (2010), Cassadaga (2011), Grimm Love (2006), Hidden 3D (2011), Devil (2010), Beneath the Darkness (2011), Romasanta: The Werewolf Hunt (2004), Spiderhole (2010), The Black Waters of Echo's Pond (2009), I Dismember Mama (1972), Gallowwalkers (2012), Shakma (1990), Remains (2011), Rites of Spring (2011), House Hunting (2013), Lost Signal (2007), Satan Hates You (2010).

The October Horror Movie Challenge 2013 (Week 3)

Week 2

I’m falling behind updating this damn blog, but here is week three’s progress. In case you can’t count, I completed the challenge already. Rock + Roll.

October 15th
24. Resolution (2012)
 I think we’ve all had that friend who has gone down the wrong path, and we want to help them, but being anti-social we do nothing and let fate decide what course their life takes. This buddy film explores a great friendship gone sour, while exploring a local mystery that for whatever reason is leaving them snippets of recorded media, from the past, present, and future. It’s rather unnerving, which makes it one of the better films this challenge.
25. The Ward (2010)
 Putting John Carpenter’s name on something only works if you’re not already a horror buff. If you are, you know he’s capable of some of the best horror out there. What’s sad is he seems content to crank out mediocre films instead. The ward is a complete rip-off of Girl Interrupted, splash in a certain Jake Busey film I won’t mention by name as to avoid spoilers (and yes, mystery film has much bigger stars, but it’s a giveaway,) and you’re stuck with a decent film, something you don’t mind catching when you’re bored, but won’t knock your socks off. It’s predictable for the most part, and would probably better serve non-horror fans.
October 16th
26. Maniac (2012)
 Elijah Wood finally escaped Frodo, and it took this remake to do it. There’s something especially creepy here, and it’s aided by a perfectly suitable soundtrack. Of course, that’s probably the only difference from the original. This film has divided audiences, especially fans of the original, but that’s ironic, since there was a planned sequel that was going to be a remake of another film. Oh, well.
October 17th
27. Devil (2010)
 I’ll wade through crap to get an Unbreakable sequel, even if it’s not really a sequel but instead a reworked script. This film didn’t make much sense. Not that it was hard to follow, but that none of it is plausible, at all. The Devil is on an elevator where people are trapped, only we don’t know which one is the devil. Enter a detective who has lost his faith and who must now narrow down the guilty, even though the Devil is narrowing them down, too. It was just ridiculous, and I felt like the nod to Agatha Christie was interrupted by Frank Miller, who apologized and returned the nod back to M. Night. Yeah, this film will hurt your head, too.
28. Occupant (2011)
 Another film that starts out fresh, deals with a lot of symbolism, and gets lost along the way, trying to salvage whatever was left. What would you do for a $10,000 rent controlled apartment for only $600? Probably the same, living here for 12 days until your legal paperwork comes through, only I doubt you would crack from the isolation in such a short period of time. That’s probably symbolic for something, but by the time that final one comes around, you’ve been done for a while.
October 18th
29. Beneath the Darkness (2011)
 It must be said that this is a solid Quaid performance in a not-so-solid film. If Kevin Williamson had a brother that he felt sorry for and pulled strings for him to get movies out, this would be it. It works, sometimes, but not always. You’ll see familiar territory travelled here with the teens know about a killer (Quaid), and honestly, the best part is seeing him play the other role for once. Other than that, not much new.
30. Romasanto: The Werewolf Hunt (2004)
 In order to complete the Insanislupus challenge this year, you had to watch a werewolf film on the full moon. Sorry it wasn’t announced, but neither is some lycanthropy, until it’s too late. Julian Sands has a tendency to star in films that look like off-Broadway plays, but luckily they are still horror. This period piece wasn’t bad, it just lacked overwhelming horror like what you would expect when dealing with a werewolf. If I had seen this on PBS, I’d be much happier.
31. Seventh Moon (2008)
 Eduardo Sanchez, Hungry Ghost Festival, China, Amy Smart, what more can I say about this? It was great if you liked Blair Witch Project and Altered. These films hit you close to home, because they could be you. This one was no exception. Not long ago I returned to my home in China with my wife, and there we planned on meeting my family before being ambushed by a bunch of albinos. Joking aside, this is probably going in my top five for the challenge.
October 19th
32. Spiderhole (2010)
 If you are afraid of spiders, well, none are in this. This film was about squatters who are unlucky enough to find a house with a deranged killer in it, who was related to Jigsaw from Saw and obviously owned a Hostel at some point.
October 20th
33. The Black Waters of Echo's Pond (2009)
 Fantasy and Horror generally blend well together, but they tend to limit themselves without enough money for some awesome special effects. If you liked the old Full Moon attempts at the genre before they decided to crank out the goofiest films imaginable, you might dig this, if you can get past redneck Robert Patrick.
October 21st
33. The Blood Spattered Bride (1972)
 I grew up on so many foreign horror films that this one had a huge nostalgia factor. These old films in the vein of Hammer are what made me love the genre. This Gothic tale about vampirism was more or less a tale of forced social orders and rape, something that was apparently an issue in Spain at the time. I highly recommend it. The film, not rape.
34. I Dismember Mama (1972) 
 This one was paired with the above film, and I guess they do share the rape theme, but other than that, no similarities at all. I'm not a fan of rape movies and that's all this one tried to be, with poor acting and even poorer plausibility. The star was creepy and his obsession with one of his victims daughter was unnerving, but the best thing about this film besides the comical title was the end credits.
35. Gallowwalkers (2012)
 There is nothing greater than getting out of prison, unless you're Wesley Snipes and your last film sucked. You ever read a comic book and thought, man, this would be an awesome movie? And then you hear about how they're doing it, going to make it into a movie? Well, Spawn was great as a cartoon, but looked goofy in film. That's the case here. Move along.

Final

The October Horror Movie Challenge 2013 (Week 2)

Week 1

I decided to divide the October Challenge entries up by week (and post one entry for each week) so you don’t have to come back, forget where you left off, and pretend to not notice I made changes to some entries. Okay, you'll still have to do that if I'm updating this semi-regularly, but you will have less to wade through. As an aside, I could really go for a steak right now. 

October 8th
13. Cherry Falls (2000)
 The weird family situations and reversal of every parent’s fear made this good as a dark comedy. The slasher genre gets turned upside down when this killer is hunting virgins, so naturally every parent wants their child to lose it. Underage orgies were the least of the odd when you look at the creepy closeness shared by the mom and daughter. And this is coming from someone raised with northern European roots, so be warned and not ashamed when you have to shower afterward. 
14. Hidden 3D (2011)
 There was no shortage of direct to DVD horror in 2011 and films like this explain why. Typical, nothing special, and… CGI… ugly, horrible CGI. However, if you go into this expecting to see Cousin Larry from that show Perfect Strangers, you’re in for at least half a treat. Had Bronson Pinchot been cast to star, alongside the Mark Linn-Baker lookalike, I’d have been impressed. 
October 9th
15. Dante’s Inferno: An Animated Epic (2010)
 I had this for about three years and finally decided to watch it, since it was on Netflix. Most people didn’t care for it, I assume because it’s based off a game and not a successful one at that. But with a circus of animators, writers and directors, there’s a bit of something for everyone and I thought the overall film had great cohesion for such an undertaking. It felt like an animated 300, minus the homo-erotic elements and excess screaming of every male voice, or maybe an extended Spawn cartoon, minus a stoned anti-hero. I enjoyed it and it’s certainly cool to see hell in all its graphic glory.  
16. Sam’s Lake (2006)
 Typical urban legend story, mixed with a little incest, and perhaps a killer who’s not as guilty as one might think. If there is one thing you cannot trust, it’s a ginger that battled Pipi Longstocking in the past. Fay Masterson and lady friends perform well doing women justice in this film. You won’t get boobs and screams here and you won’t even get the new dumb male cohorts we see on television. Instead, it’s a straightforward story with enough twists to keep you entertained. Not a perfect film, but take note of a few scenes that purposely avoid the shocking, last minute, clichés. If you like smarter women, this is a decent watch. 
17. The Woman in Black (2012)
 A lot of people hated this one. And they can go on and hate it for their various reasons. Most cried because it had the chills instead of thrills (that they always complain about anyway.) Others thought the previous television adaption, play, novel, Chick tract, etc. was far better, but I had no clue any of them existed until after seeing this, so I was lucky enough to approach this unbiased. First, I’d like to say that I never once thought of Harry Potter while watching this and that says a lot about an actor who has played him 37 times. Second, the story was just enough traditional and classical, and didn’t feel like it was trying to go against the modern expectations. Third, I really enjoyed it, even the ending, and felt like it was a true ghost story, one that comes alive and devours all of those who gave it scathing reviews. Die. 
October 10th
18. Cravings (2006)
  Some films hold together really well, until completely screwing it all up with a "shock" ending that has been done before, but with this type of story, doesn't make any sense. That being said, the first 95% of this film is really good, moving slow enough for you to explore the characters and get a taste for what they're doing, but not so fast that it's done and over with and makes you feel like the ending is crap. Sorry. The one weird thing about this was the competition between mother and daughter for the male lead. The film was originally titled Daddy's Girl, and I think it was switched to make it less of a jailbait film. I could be wrong. 
October 11th
19. Jug Face (2013)
 I think this one takes the lead for best film so far. Echoing back to the old days when gods seemed to abandon their worshipers and a new, more improved one, took up residence, Jug Face is about a rural community that revolves around a supernatural pit, it’s prophet a jug maker that reveals it’s desires. Should a face of someone appear, then they must be sacrificed to it in order to keep its healing powers going. But when the pit is lied to and betrayed, it’s vengeance knows no bounds, and the community is turned upside down, waiting for order to be restored. There are many levels to this: incest, social expectations, poverty, hell, the list goes on. Since I just ramble and offer a few thoughts instead of reviewing, I can only recommend you watch this if you have to pick one from any of my films so far.  
20. The Woman (2011)
 I’ve always seen Jack Ketchum’s screen work as more of shock for shock’s sake, but with this one, I felt the balance he really needed to deliver the macabre worked, probably thanks to Lucky McGee. You know right away that the creepy father’s plans to help the feral woman in the woods hide other intentions, and the emo-depressed daughter is a sure sign that depravity is lurking somewhere. However, I felt the overall message here was about female survival, and more importantly, rising to the occasion, standing up, enduring what you have to for the end result, and that’s exactly what the Woman does. Of note, two cast members from Jug Face star here as well. 
October 12th
21. The Road (2011)
 No, not the one with the guy from Lord of the Rings. A cop is given a medal that his boss doesn’t think he deserves and tells him to earn it by solving a disappearance. This Philippine ghost story is told in three stories, each jumping back ten years (2008, 1998, 1988), and acts almost like an anthology, only, well, it’s not and it’s about the same characters. I can’t think of another film off the top of my head that shows you the ghosts, and then shows you the origin stories, backward. While it doesn’t read like literature, it’s still very enjoyable and had a several scenes that freaked me out. Additionally, if you like murdering young women, this film is certainly for you.
October 13th
22. American Mary (2012)

 The storytelling in this was messy and the pacing in the final act messier. That's not to say I didn't enjoy it, but there really wasn't much of a rise to power for the lead. She's raped and then becomes this ruthless and sadistic bitch in five minutes. I get it was revenge, and that deep down she's always been this way, but people don't turn into Mengele over night. If you're anywhere near the body mod community (yeah, you lightweights who think your tatts and piercings are something) you should enjoy it. 
October 14th
23. The Burrowers (2008)

 It was Columbus Day and hundreds of years ago my forefathers were slaughtering my forefathers. I sided with the slaughtered. The Burrowers brings forth a weird western horror film about the gross mistreatment of native peoples by the United States and the consequences of putting an end to native life. Proud to be American, but not proud of how we came to be. We killed a lot of Burrowers to get here. This movies was one of my faves and I recommend it (as well as the prequel, Blood Red Earth, on Fearnet.)

Week 3

The October Horror Movie Challenge 2013 (Week 1)

Image provided unknowingly by Krell Labs.

It's a challenge with yourself, no one else. It begins midnight, October 1st. 31 films, 31 days, at least 16 first-time-views. It ends November 1st, 6 AM. This entry will be regularly updated the entire month and I plan on writing mini-reviews, comments, thoughts, opinions, anything and everything, after each film, so spoilers be warned.

October 1st
1. Uzumaki (2000)

 I liked this film because it starts out with a traditional romance, but spirals into a schizophrenic nightmare by the end, dooming both protagonists. Most Japanese horror films have a tendency to be very serious, but this one mixed in some comedic elements. I'm sure the eastern and western interpretations are drastically different, but that was what I took away from it. 

2. Thale (2012)

 Normally I would bash a film for relying so much on telling us the backstory instead of showing us, but at the heart, it's really about kindness, so all of that wasn't essential. Elvis and Leo are both likeable characters, and the little catch up scene we get between them certainly moved us closer. I was also a fan of how their characters didn't change throughout the film; they didn't need to. Thale was exotic looking and her story was just as sad. It was nice to see these three broken people bond and get a happy ending in the end. I also was impressed with the CGI, which looked more realistic than most big budget films. 

October 2nd
3. Rare Exports (2010)

 It's rather tough to go from the Norwegian Thale to the Finnish sausagefest that is Rare Exports. I've little bad to say about the film, but the major gripe is the lack of female cast. I don't recall a single woman, unless she's in a deleted scene I didn't bother watching. And since we are talking negatives, why couldn't we see an awakened evil Santa instead of one trapped in a ball of ice? This doesn't really hurt the film, but it was just odd and unexpected. I can see this film added to Christmas viewing alongside Gremlins in the future. 

4. The Shrine (2010)

 An ambitious journalist snubs her boss and takes her fellow journalist/researcher, as well as her photographer boyfriend, to a small village in Poland where there have been mysterious disappearances of tourists over the past several years. Upon arriving, they realize everyone is weird and doesn't want them there. They go and investigate a creepy mist that hovers in the woods. Upon entering it, both the girls get lost and discover a ridiculous looking statue that looks like something out of a poorly drawn Dungeons & Dragons book, before eventually meeting up again, only to be pursued by the villagers. The first half of the movie is horribly acted, lacks character development, the sets look like they were made for a public access show, and you'll want to turn it off. I’ve saved you the trouble. The last half delivers the goods. Nothing new, but definitely well done possession horror that every fan of the sub-genre will want to see. You've been warned about the first half, but I bet you're willing to give it a try now. Don't.

5. The Last Will and Testament of Rosalind Leigh (2012)

 I didn’t really get the hype behind all of this. It’s a decent film, sure, but what exactly was so new or unique about this one compared to other films in the genre we’ve all seen? Your guess is as good as mine. I actually really liked that, despite having a protagonist, the eponymous character narrates the entire film, especially since we compare Leon to his mother, their similarities and differences, throughout. They both were into antiques, both had strained relationships, and dependence on those they were estranged from, and both were obviously lonely. The serene setting of the house during the day contrasted against the sinister setting it became at night looked really nice, minus the horrid CGI thing running around. I’m a huge fan of Shirley Jackson, which this film slightly borrows from, but there was just something about the film overall that didn’t land big points with me. Since I was tired when I watched it, I do plan on giving it another sometime in the future. Not this month.

October 3rd
6. The Seasoning House (2012)
 Perhaps the best film of the challenge yet, The Seasoning House shows us the horrors of war, or at least the aftermath for some young women who are forced into sexual slavery in Eastern Europe. Their treatment there is worse than had they been murdered along with their families. Being American, racism is all too familiar a concept, and while we pretend we invented it and have it fine tuned into an instrument of absolute hate, American racism is usually little more than being passed up for a job opportunity or being called a hurtful name. This films shows the way people of other ethnic groups are as valuable as cattle, and treated much the same. Our protagonist, the deaf Angel, grows accustomed to prepping the girls at the house, being spared their fate, while still being subjected to the master of the house on a regular basis. It's sad and heartbreaking, watching her go from room to room, prepping girls who will be raped and beaten by Neanderthals that deserve nothing short of excruciating genital mutilation and dying in pools of their own blood. She gives us some of that. Okay, a lot of that, and for that I love her and this film.
7. Cassadaga (2010)

 There is no way you can set a paranormal horror film in the "psychic capital of the world" and screw it up. Okay, yes, you can. This film was typical and cliché, both things I can deal with. This seemed like the writers for Dexter took a weekend during their break between season 7 and 8 to recharge their batteries and jot down a fresh horror idea. Instead, you get the same three-egg omelet with nothing but cheese in the center. This film didn't know what it wanted to be, and carried on and on without making any good attempts at originality. It's received a lot of praise, but the film just didn't put me in Cassadaga. 

October 4th
8. Wake Wood (2010)
 I grew up on Hammer Studios, but had no clue this was one of their films until afterwards. Losing a child is one of the worst things imaginable to a parent, or even someone who values life, so it is no surprise that parents would jump on the opportunity to have just a few more days with their precious gift. When this couple stumbles on that chance, and then fumbles on the rules of the game, everyone involved must pay the price. The little girl here was genuinely creepy and I thought the tale was told rather well with great pacing. The overall darkness and creepy settings are what one expects from Hammer and they are delivered here.
9. The Reeds (2010)
 This one reminded me heavily of more obscure films from the 80’s such as Bridge to Nowhere (1986), primarily in tone and the way it was shot (16mm is beautiful.) This is a fish out of water tale, no pun intended, since it takes place in the reeds, and rural horror is easier to pull off in such a locale. 6 young adults on a boat, creepy kids, a suspicious local, and dangerous adventures provide all the elements you need. While I felt this film did everything correct, I still can’t get over how it didn’t have to be a ghost story and those supernatural elements made the ending more convoluted. Many are confused on the overall meaning. I felt that the writer was trying to say a cycle had been broken, but why was it ever a cycle?
October 5th
10. Curse of Chucky (2013)
 I've always been a fan of franchise horror, but often the original idea gets lost in the middle. The Child's Play series is no exception, going from horror to horror comedy and almost parody, so I was thankful when this film returned to its roots. We never got too in depth on the back story of Charles Lee Ray, and in a roundabout way, this film introduces those elements in prequel flashbacks, while still being a sequel. There's not much new ground to cover in the sixth entry of a serial killing doll, but this one more or less completed a cycle. And while I started to miss Jennifer Tilly's character of Tiffany, she does make a cameo. Speaking of cameos, stay tuned until after the credits roll for the grandest one of all. Indeed, probably the best film since the first.

October 6th
11. Grimm Love (2006)
 I admit that every time I see the name Keri Russel I think of Theresa Russell which makes me give her films a chance. By default, ever since that horrid show of new adult stupidity, Felicity, just her face gets on my nerves. Naturally she starred in this film, which while based on a true story about a cannibal and the soon to be willing cannibalized, somehow was turned into a love story. The grimmest thing about this film is that she, as the star, fills a completely useless role of someone investigating what happened to the two males, after the fact. Maybe I'm biased, but I could have done without her investigation and gone with the two males telling their own tale. Not all Americans are stupid.
October 7th
12. One Dark Night (1982)
 There is something less sexy about Meg Tilly compared to her sister, Jennifer, however, the former certainly plays the vulnerable role much better. Certainly inspired by Phantasm and other horror films of the day, there was something okay with being cheesy in the 80's. This was a much needed dose of lightheartedness after several serious, and sometimes failed, features that wrapped up my first week of the challenge. 

Week 2

Thank You, Ben Affleck

I want to congratulate Ben Affleck for his casting as Batman. Personally, I believe he has his work cut out for him. But he's already uncovered how gullible and conformist people are. As soon as it was announced that he would be everyone's favorite vigilante, everyone went batshit crazy and took their turn bashing his performance (which had not been filmed, written, or probably even conceived.) Less than a week later, after a slew of famous and influential people gave their praise for the casting, everyone made a complete 180. And now a month later, everyone's acting like they've never had a problem with him being Batman. You're dumb.

  "You fapped to what I married." - Ben Affleck

Boycott Soul Temple Music: The Update

This is a response to this post: http://insanislupus.blogspot.com/2013/09/boycott-soul-temple-music.html


From the RZA:

"Although business is personal, when it comes to fans and consumers respect should be shown. So I'm publicly making these statements to fans...

There have been some bad staffing positions at the label which lead to some bad business. You fans have voiced your discontent so I will act.

We are removing Bob Perry from controlling the mail order dept and demoting him from president to Vp of A&R. He will retain his equity. 

For those who made orders that wasn't fulfilled our new staff will fill the orders or refund your money. Please send your names to our site

I will have a new email account for you fans who have not received your orders within 48hrs and have my l a office handle the matter.

These missed orders were not taken by me nor were they my responsibility but I hear your voices and I'm striving to remedy the matter....Soul Temple was an idea that's been with me for years. It was inspired by relationship with the great late Issac Hayes. We launched in 2012. I'm needing you to update your blog. 

Peace from the God"

I was then contacted by Ryan from Bandcamp:

"Dear Insanislupus,
Please accept our apologies for the trouble your fans had with their orders from Soul Temple. RZA has just posted some updates on the situation to his Facebook page.

We've reached out to Tam (RZA's new fulfillment person mentioned in the above posts) with a detailed list of all their customers still waiting for orders. If they've received what they ordered since the last time we corresponded, please let me know. Otherwise, please have them send a copy of their Bandcamp receipt to soultemppro@gmail.com, per Tam's instructions in the Facebook posts.

Again, apologies for the disappointing experience, and thank you for your patience,

Ryan 

P.S. Can you please update your blog with this information?"

Now combined with the efforts of the Facebook boycott, some of you people may be receiving your orders soon. Let me know. 

UPDATE

Boycott Soul Temple Music

I have to apologize for my recommendation. When Ghostface Killah released Twelve Reasons to Die, his latest album, I encouraged everyone to go and order it directly from RZA’s label, Soul Temple Music. Many were upset because it was delayed, but that was apparently due to the manufacturer. Eventually, I received my limited edition collector’s pack, an excellent deal and an awesome package. One record did have an additional label hanging, but easily peeled off, leaving the album unharmed. That was the only issue I had. Until now. 

The other day I was informed that there are hundreds (at least) of people who have not received orders they placed directly through the Soul Temple Music Bandcamp page. This included those who have never received their original order for 12R2D. I remember getting the pre-order emails for U-God and a few others well in advance of a release schedule. So far in advance that there is no way to dispute not getting it through PayPal (45 days), most banks (60 days), most credit cards (90). Status update emails apparently are never answered. Don’t get me wrong, you’d be partly to blame for actually spending money on one of U-God’s albums. He’s certainly the least recognizable, least skilled, least profitable, etc. of the Clan; I probably wouldn’t even download it for free.

Now you might think I’m being mean, and I admit that the truth hurts sometimes, but there’s no way Soul Temple Music doesn’t have entire skids of U-God’s album laying around. Maybe 100 bought it and they’re still waiting on it to ship? Please. I could see Ghost and RZA releases running out and needing to be repressed. But if you asked someone to name the members of Wu-Tang Clan, they’d give you every member, including Cappadonna, and still forget about U-God. This is the most anyone has ever written about him, so I’ll stop and get back to my point.

 U-God collapses after learning his first album

 finally went bronze ten years after release.

It doesn’t take that long to start up a small record label. Doesn’t take that many people to run it, either. There’s no reason why one person can’t print an order slip, pack the item in a box, tape it, and label it in one minute. That’s 60 an hour. In an 8 hour shift, with lunch and taking a few smoke breaks, you can crank out 400 a day, even if you’re lazy. That would take you 8 employees in 5 days to ship out the 15,000 units Ghostface sold the first week. He didn’t even sell a third of that the following week, so you could fire half of them and still make one get coffee, fetch lunches, wash your car, under-the-desk favors, whatever. 

RZA’s net worth is $18 Million. Ghostface Killah’s is $17 Million. U-God’s is less than yours. But it’s safe to say all the other Wu-Tang Clan members have more money than you. They made it off of us. None of these people cared you ordered and didn’t receive their album. People have been banned from their Facebook pages and Twitter accounts for simply asking where their orders are at. Soul Temple at least owe everyone a generic email response about how they’ve screwed everything up, repeatedly, and don’t know how to run a business. You’d have better results contacting the psychic Sylvia Browne and asking her if your package had shipped; she’d have better accuracy answering too.  

Boycott Soul Temple Music, RZA, Ghostface Killa, U-God, and anyone else that can’t make a simple phone call to help get the ball rolling. 

UPDATE

Karma Can't Be A Bitch

I often see people across the internet commenting on the misfortunes of others and how karma is apparently paying them back for, what I assume are, trespasses against them. It’s usually some bullshit remark like how they’re enjoying the bad karma said wrongdoer has received. Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn't that mean, in your heavily westernized interpretation of an Indian concept, that you will have the same negativity shoved back in your face? So why are you then lamenting about how poor your luck is and how your life sucks and now you’re broke and about to be homeless and your car’s broke down and you are dying from a rare disease, yet not admitting it’s probably karma paying you back for your own misdeeds? What I’m trying to say is, karma, something you wholeheartedly believe in, is telling you you’re a hypocrite and more than likely a dick; wake up. 

Waiting to die 5,999,999 more times. 
Yeah, everyone with an internet connection
 knows he had more than 6 million
 people killed; stop ruining jokes.