A slow week again, although the choices were much better
this time around. A horror-comedy actually took the cake and will more than
likely stay there. Again, I managed to squeeze in an episode of The Walking
Dead and American Horror Story: Freakshow, one of which was mediocre, and the
other not much better. I also managed a good handful of shorts for Shortober,
which now that I think about it, I haven’t mentioned here. More on that later.
Remember, spoilers in the Thoughts section.
Tunnel (2011)
Plot: Three
filmmakers follow a journalist down a tunnel in this modern retelling of Alice
in Wonderland.
Thoughts:
Australia is known for their films that make excellent use of the landscape, so
this one opted for the lesser known, abandoned, underground rail system located
in Sydney. The thirsty for blood reporter takes her crew down to investigate
why the government abandoned plans to use the stored water, as well as to see
if rumors of the homeless living there are true. After one of them gives her a
story and goes insane at the thought of the tunnels, why not investigate them?
But this isn’t teenie bopper tunnel horror. The actors actually act, and you’d
be amazed to learn that the budget is less than the average person makes in a
year. They made excellent and realistic use of heat of the moment confusion, so
their directive changes a few times accordingly. Let’s stay and find the friend
is soon followed by abandon all hope because we already entered and get the
hell out of here. The most important lessons learned here are never follow a
woman and fear the homeless. They took what little they had and made the most
of it and it shows. While I am absolutely sick to death of this over-saturated
genre this season, I must admit this was rather fresh.
Verdict: This is
a well done documentary-horror on a shoestring budget. Avoid if you hate
Australians.
Deliver Us From
Evil (2014)
Plot: Two guys
deliver us from evil, or at least help God to deliver us from evil.
Thoughts: Eric
Bana is the opposite of charisma. There is just something about him that makes
me not want to watch his films (and punch him in the face). Luckily, this was
one of his more charming efforts. Here’s where it gets strange. Tallying up
points here is a huge give and take. The movie is “based on a true story” which
is totally false, but it’s actually based on real people. You heard that right,
they used a book about actual cases for source material and then made up a
completely fictional story, yet put the real characters in it. All of that
aside, this is a traditional exorcism tale. You have the non-believer and the
believer, who must battle the forces of evil to expel them from human hosts.
What makes this one fun is it’s a crime story with a fun investigation added to
it. Although some scenes were a little rushed, I enjoyed the overall
experience. We’ve had a lot of news reports with footage of psychotic episodes
that can be horrific to those outside of a hospital setting and this used them
well. Most exorcisms do not involve multiple priests, but the assistance of
friends and family of the possessed, so complaining that an exorcist used a cop
for help, well, it could happen. The Doors soundtrack as an element of the plot
got kind of old and made the scenes a bit goofy. The lights and static in the
radio are a bit questionable as well.
Verdict: If you
declare movies the worst ever on a regular basis, you should skip this. If you
have an unhealthy hatred for all things religious, then this is obviously not
for you. If you want Se7en meets the Exorcist, although much lesser in quality,
then this might be up your alley, but you will want to be a forgiving horror
fan, since some scenes are a bit ridiculous.
UFO Abduction
(1989)
Plot: A young
girl’s birthday party is rudely interrupted by spacefaring beings who need
taught a lesson in respect.
Thoughts: I don’t
care what anyone says, this was well done. For starters, many thought it was
real. For all intents and purposes, it looks such. You spend a good chunk of
the story revolving around the girl’s birthday party. Everyone had that
annoying family member who videotaped everything. When the aliens land, the
person with the recorder is the best one to bring along, right? But that’s
where it starts to fall apart. I find it hard to believe someone is going to be
filming the entire walk to see the landing spot, then focus in on the aliens,
and then keep it on when you’re running back. When someone shoots an alien, you
don’t film them bring the body into the house, although you might film the
aftermath. I don’t know any of this from firsthand experience, though, so maybe
I’m wrong. To add to the mystery, there is a disclaimer that the people in the
video are missing. Most of them are one-time actors, which makes it look good.
The ones who continued acting screwed it up for everyone. Then they remade it.
This aired on television many years ago and its delivery to this day makes it
seem like actual footage. Don’t believe me? Go to the IMDB and look at how many
reviews there are proclaiming it’s fake, or getting bent out of shape because users
keep asking if it is real. Knowing something is fake tends to make this less
appealing. There are things in this world we cannot yet explain, so we cling to
the unknown, especially the unknowable, and if you’re that type of person, then
this is for you. If you feel the need to go on message boards and lash out over
it, die.
Verdict: Because
of the nature of this work, I’ve put my verdict in the last two sentences of
the Thoughts section.
Housebound (2014)
Plot: A woman is
given the light sentence of living with her parents after she fails at robbing
an ATM, but it turns out she has more to deal with when unexplainable things
begin happening.
Thoughts: A
friend said that no one does Horror Comedies better than New Zealand, and this
certainly lends a lot of credence to that. The attitude of Kylie in the main
role, and her constant bitch face, made me think I wouldn’t like her, but after
a while, you understand that she just doesn’t give a damn about anything, which
leaves room for her to grow as a character. Her mother acts just like an
annoying mother, with the traditional gift of gab, and her stepfather being
aloof helps us to explore the family dynamic. I’ve watched enough paranormal
shows to get a kick out of the unlikely association with her security monitor,
Amos. Once he switches from his day job, to his hobby, it’s on, both in horror
and in laughs. I’m not a fan of in your face comedies and find them annoying,
so the situational scenes here with the black humor worked perfectly. Most
importantly was the amount of suspense. I watched this while very tired, yet it
kept me awake, without a single eyelid getting heavy. Once this movie starts,
it doesn’t slow down. The big reveal towards the latter part actually made a
lot of sense and there is plenty of foreshadowing to give you all the clues you
need, but you’re just too damn busy getting a kick out of the lead and how she
goes about everything. The characters just work, and the small town setting
certainly helps. This knew what it wanted to be.
Verdict: This has
been my favorite of the challenge so far, and probably my favorite horror comedy
ever. It’s horror enough that it drowns out the comedy bits, but funny enough
to make even the blood splatter hilarious.
Honeymoon (2014)
Plot: A couple go
into the woods and to a cabin on a honeymoon, which is never a good idea, and
bad things happen.
Thoughts: This is
competent, despite the generic plot. It breaks down like follows. A couple seem
to have one of those shotgun weddings, go to a cabin where the girl grew up,
and then she starts acting weird. He finds her in the woods, naked and alone,
like she was sleepwalking. Then she starts doing odd things, like missing basic
steps while cooking or making coffee. Next, she starts confusing her words and
has memory lapses where she can’t remember things, or she has created false
memories. The husband believes she has been raped after he notices the marks on
her legs and bleeding, followed by some weirdo moving a flashlight around the
cabin and spying on them. As the bride’s world falls apart, and the groom falls
into paranoia, we finally realize even stranger things are going on with her,
and that she is no longer the same person. Aliens, naturally, are doing some
weird, presumably, breeding program and have selected her as a host, only her
body is now changing. Despite this, she wants to spend the last few days she
has here on earth with him, perhaps holding on to the last remnants of the mind
she once owned. My only complaint is it wasn’t really clear the alien’s agenda.
I wasn’t sure if they were using her as a host for alien hybrids, or maybe
engineering her into another life form completely, and for what purpose
exactly, I do not know.
Verdict: Fans of
body horror will love this, although it takes a bit for that to become
apparent.
Exists (2014)
Plot: In different
woods, in another cabin, a group of youngsters must defend themselves from a
raging Bigfoot.
Thoughts: UFO and
Bigfoot sightings go hand in hand, so perhaps this would make a great double
feature with the above? They’re both about the same caliber. Let me instantly
make the disclaimer that I am an Eduardo Sanchez fan. He’s put out some great
stuff and I have yet to see anything by him I didn’t like. However, this is
probably the worst of his output. That’s not to say it’s bad, but there are a
few things I didn’t care for and am a bit shocked they came from him. For one,
most of the characters were stereotypical stock. For two, they had a lot of
close-up and full scale shots of the creature (which looked good, but a little
mystery helps). Three, I felt the creature strayed too much from local lore at
times. But Sanchez didn’t write this, and maybe had little, if any input into
that, since his long time writing partner, Jamie Nash, gets the sole writing
credit. Regardless, these two have put out some great creature features, and
while I liked this one, it bothered me here and there. Coming from mountain folk,
everyone knows that they are primarily nocturnal, their territory markers are
always twisted trees, and their vocalizations are always aimed at other
bigfoots, not humans, and they always operate in family units, especially when
they have young. Still, the throwing of heavy objects and other feats of
strength, running alongside those it wants to scare off, and accepting the
surrender of the protagonist shows that some research was done. The cast got
along well, the shots were nice and tight, and the pace was constant, even in
the beginning.
Verdict: A lot of
go-pro camera action, but it separates itself from The Blair Witch Project by
adding some score and using other conventional methods effectively. Fans of
Sanchez will resort to nitpicking like I did, but if you are a fan any of his
films, you’ll be accepting of this.