Carrie (2013)
Plot: A teen girl
comes to terms with her psychokinetic abilities while also trying to fit in
with the cool crowd.
Thoughts: I
actually liked Julianne Moore and Chloe Grace Moretz in their respective roles,
but that’s about the end with the cast. I didn’t feel the rest even compared to
the original. There was no standout William Katt or John Travolta, or Amy
Irving and Nancy Allen. The story is basically the exact same, almost the
Psycho remake treatment, which more or less makes the film pointless. Looking
past that, the film was actually pretty good, with a faster pace to reflect the
impatience of current moviegoers. And then we get to the prom scene, which more
or less destroyed anything positive I had to say about the film. It played out
like a video you’d see on MTV, aiming for campy horror, rather than real teen
angst and rage. The final showdown with Carrie’s mother just isn’t enough to
redeem the film as a whole.
Verdict: I think
this film certainly has it’s demographic, but I don’t think it’s strict horror
fans. The original was an absolute classic and sits in the cannon of must see
and best horror films ever. The remake is a quick money grab and obviously
aimed at a younger audience. If you’ve seen the original, there’s no point in
wasting time with this, especially if you don’t like remakes to begin with;
you’ve already seen it, done better.
The Believers
(1987)
Plot: After the
death of his wife, a psychologist begins working with the troubled NYPD, only
to discover some are practicing a non-Christian, African-root religion, and
targeting him and his son to join their cult.
Thoughts: I
remembered a few scenes from this as a kid, so I wasn’t sure if I should count
it as a first time view or not, but I did. For starters, it’s a bit gritty like
the crime films of the 70’s, but it has that horror cheese that picked up in
the early 80’s. Martin Sheen has never seemed like a natural lead to me, mainly
because he has a lot of qualities you
would find in a villain, and the roles he picks certainly reinforce that. His
moods always changed frequently and he always seemed quick to anger in just
about everything I’ve seen him in. 80’s films weren’t afraid to be racist,
which is funny, because they unapologetically reflected the American middle
class at the time. In this film, being Latino is okay, if not a bit odd, but
any ties to Africa are viewed as a negative thing, especially since all
Africans are cult leaders, even when they actually come from Cuba. Already I am
rambling. Snakes, bugs, curses, autopsies, electrocutions, etc. all of that is
here in stereotypical fashion against a serious backdrop.
Verdict: If you
want to see the early films of several great actors, then certainly check this
out. Also, it has a certain Italian giallo feel to it, if you get my drift.
Banshee Chapter
(2013)
Plot: A
journalist commits horror film suicide by looking into the disappearance of her
friend, which may be linked to a government experiment involving LSD, as well
as those mysterious numbers stations.
Thoughts: I’ll
say up front that this is the love child of several of my major interests. I’ve
been reading a lot on DMT, numbers
stations, spirit radio, etc., and have for a while now. When this started out,
it proposed some interesting ideas by meshing together a lot of little known
CIA lore, and basing a character off of a real person, or mesh of people. That
being said, the best part about the subject matter. The CIA cannot ignore
Project MKUltra, and the numbers stations are still going all over the world.
While spirit radio is more or less believed to just be stray radio frequencies,
we might as well throw that in for good measure, since no one will know. The lead
actress, Katia Winter, played well alongside the erratic and show-stealing (as
always) Ted Levine, but she anchored an otherwise erratic character that
wouldn’t have worked on his own. Their search for the LSD and the mysterious
signals being broadcast, or rather, the demonic entities being broadcast, was a
fun trip, only hampered by cheesy and overused droopy-faced CGI monsters. I
didn’t know if they were spirits or Salad Fingers looking for some rust. The
end was rather predictable, and I would rather have ascended Jacob’s Ladder
than been given another ending where the protagonist fails and goes off to some
unknown, but horrible fate. We worked pretty hard to get to the bottom of it,
stop it, and then go on to deal with the consequences that are left. Instead,
we’re sucked right back into it, wasting any effort we put forth.
Verdict: Despite
the ending not being what I wanted, this is one of the better films of the
challenge so far. It handled the subject matter really well, even though I knew
more than they did, and kept me convinced up until the end, when it unleashed a
red herring more horrifying than the former.
Citadel (2012)
Plot: A man must
battle his own demons, as well as those that haunt his neighborhood, after his
wife dies leaving him a single father.
Thoughts: I had
no clue Hoodie Horror was a thing, outside of the Trayvon Martin case, but
leave it up to the Irish, or Scottish, to prove me wrong. Yeah, it’s Irish but
apparently shot somewhere in Scotland. The entire film is about agoraphobia and
a man’s heightened fears going outside after witnessing a brutal attack on his
wife. Additionally hampered by his child, he has a difficult time not only
getting by in the day, but at night as well. You can tell it is a bit
autobiographical (the writer suffered agoraphobia due to an attack), which
helps with the realism, but it falters by adding an all-knowing priest that
becomes the harbinger of doom. It’s here that we approach familiar territory,
with the only course of action to be the destruction of a building where these
hooded horrors nest. I get that the destruction of a building removes the
safety net an agoraphobic falls back on, but it also kind of removes the real
obstacle the lead faced.
Verdict: This is
effectively creepy, if that’s your bag, and it even goes further by turning
everyone wearing a hoodie into a potential real-life baddie. But the story
borders the unbelievable way too much to really shake you to the core. Some of
the most effective scenes are early on, like when he’s trapped in the elevator
watching the beat down on his wife, but later everything is predictable for the
most part.
Jack & Diane
(2012)
Plot: A lesbian
encounter turns a girl into a potential werewolf, where a young woman must
endure a short romance with the other, or be devoured by the beast she is
surely to become.
Thoughts: My plot
outline up there is not really true. This is only horror in dream sequences and
a few runs of the imagination. The beast here is more metaphor than anything,
and honestly it seemed a little bit out of place. It wasn’t as pointless as
vamps and weres in the first Twilight, but there certainly wasn’t much call for
it. Both females are hopelessly in love, one being quirky, the other set in her
ways. This doesn’t bring attention to the fact that the leads are gay, since
both characters know they are and it’s in New York, so no one cares. That was
nice. But it had this weird feel, like I should be watching something from Larry
Clark, and I kept waiting for that, but it never happened. That was probably
where this went wrong. I think it spent too much time trying to make the
characters ordinary, but despite the intentions, there just isn’t much
interesting about their relationship. It’s not forbidden, taboo, or even worth
mentioning for the most part. It doesn’t
really rise to a lot of excitement and kind of leaves you thinking this would
have been a better story for supporting characters, playing out in a bigger and
better movie, that followed more interesting people.
Verdict: Rather
than winding up on the shelf with a confused character bent on awakening
through destruction like May (2002), you take an odd turn and land next to the
confused, and off-center, Chuck & Buck (2000). If you’re into cutesy,
offbeat romances, this is for you, but I wouldn’t argue it being disqualified
as horror for the challenge.
Wer (2013)
Plot: A group of
white people, unable to find a minority to champion, instead decided to help a
werewolf prove he’s not a werewolf.
Thoughts: France
has always been the hotbed of wolf attacks, but it’s a shame that so many
filmmakers today want to place them elsewhere. Enter American Lawyer in Paris,
who is up to defending a man “wrongfully” accused of ravaging a vacationing
family. Physical lycanthropy and science don’t really mesh well, but that
didn’t stop the writers from using a mutant variation of a known disease to
help them meet their goals of modernizing the legend. The only problem is, I
immediately think of Full Eclipse (1993), another werewolf film that already
modernized the genre in the same way. The trailer already tells you that the
man in shackles is indeed the killer, so there is no surprise there, either.
That’s not to say this isn’t good, it’s just that it comes across like it’s
re-inventing the wheel and it’s not, at all. It’s well thought out, following
the traditional route of spreading the disease, but it offers very little in
new material or ideas.
Verdict: I hear a
lot of people saying this is the best werewolf film in the past ten years.
Yeah, well there haven’t been any great werewolf films in the past ten years,
so I guess this is certainly it. The buildup is slow paced at first, and while
we don’t get upfront hairy action, they replay the found footage from the
camping trip nightmare earlier a handful of times. Once the transformation
happens, we’re treated to a pretty solid bloodbath, and that’s all you want or
need from this.
Absence (2011)
Plot: A woman
goes on vacation with her husband and annoying brother after she wakes up no
longer pregnant.
Thoughts: Always
a fan of alien agendas, I thought this was a neat idea, where a woman goes
almost full term, only to take up with not race of her baby, which is scientifically
impossible. I get the need to go away, but I thought the idea of her brother
bringing a camera along to film a documentary was a bit cheap. Nothing helps someone
cope with being an X-File like doing a student project. Besides that, the
brother was super annoying, which actually worked, because some siblings are super
annoying. It was almost realistic. It takes us awhile to get anywhere and then
we finally introduce a new character, a would be girlfriend, only to have her
get freaked out my Night of the Creeps and for no reason avoid them like the
plague. Then you have the ridiculous alien footage that doesn’t turn the light bulb
on above anyone’s head. Hey, we have footage of a grey who appeared out of
nowhere, vibrated the house, and turned on a fluorescent over the entire room,
doing God knows what. Make sure we don’t take this video to the government so
they can handle it. I assure you, the government loves getting hold of strange
footage.
Verdict: Had this
not been the 147th found footage film that came out in 2011, it
might have fared better. It’s certainly not the worst as so many on IMDB claim,
and I thought the actors were decent enough, the story, gaps and holes abound,
at least kept you engage after a time, but when you start being even more
critical, it falls apart. You could watch this late at night when you’re half
asleep and find some redeeming qualities about it.
Come Out and Play
(2012)
Plot: An
expecting couple go on a last vacation, renting a boat, and stumbling upon an island
that will let them know why most people don’t want kids.
Thoughts: I saw Who
Can Kill a Child? several years back when it hit DVD, and I’m almost certain I
saw it as a kid on one of the late night UHF stations that used to crank
horror, but could be wrong. This is an effective update, in that it is an exact
copy of something a large audience has never seen and probably never will. Of course,
it’s not without its detractors, but those people have probably never been
laid. My plot sums up the entire movie rather perfectly, but films like this do
well to have a bleak ending. There is an occasional topic that pops up on
horror boards about movies where children are murdered, as well as where
children are the murderers, and here you have both under the same umbrella. You
root for the couple to survive, but after they start killing kids, you ask
yourself, is it morally right to do so, even under the circumstances, and
regardless, is it okay to root for the adults? By the end, after seeing the
underage carnage, you’re thankful that most of the kids have survived, even
though they are planning on going ashore and spreading whatever it is that has
control over them. I noticed that our eyes were assaulted by MAKINOV, like we’re
supposed to know, or care, who that is. Apparently this is his first credit,
and while it’s not bad, there is no need to pretend you are the second coming,
since you have this, and only this, to your credit. You’re not the cat’s
pajamas. I’ve always wanted to say that.
Verdict: This makes
you think about morality and what you would do in the same situation. Remakes
happen and there is nothing you can do to stop them. If you hate them, don’t
watch them, and stop low-voting a film based solely on the fact that it’s not
original. I’m pretty sure that a long time ago someone was murdered, making all
murders unoriginal. See my point? Stop. This doesn’t deserve the hate it gets.
It’s an enjoyable update to something you’ve never heard of, a carbon copy that
laughably goes out of the way to be exact.
Grave Encounters
(2011)
Plot: In this
prequel to Ghost Adventures, we find out the real reason no one wants to work
with Zak Bagans (it’s not his tight shirts, large glasses, or spikey hair.)
Thoughts: This
started off as nothing more than a disappointing spoof of the aforementioned
show, but midway through we encounter the real deal, when the crew learns that
the building is changing all around them, like in Mark Z. Danielewski’s novel,
House of Leaves. The feeling of being lost, even outside of a department store,
can be overwhelming to say the least. Up the ante with something deliberately
toying with you, and you’ve captured the essence of what a horror is. Some of
the creatures reminded me of something you would find in a survival horror
game, which is perfect when you need action and chase. They don’t dwell on the
back story of the hospital, so much as getting out of it. Small touches here and
there, like the cameraman answering a phone call from home to speak with his
child, make the character a bigger emotional loss. Found footage like this
makes sense and actually aids the story. Overall, the components worked well
together, and my only major gripe with this is how exactly was this footage
found by the producer?
Verdict: Fans of
Blair Witch Project will immediately be drawn to this because of its effective
use of bewilderment. But where that film focused solely on the unseen, this
isn’t afraid to use glimpses of cheap special effects to make them look more
realistic. Half of the people who watch this like it and the other half don’t.
I found it rather enjoyable, honestly, like watching Ghost Adventures. Those
guys are so full of it, but they can put on a decent hour-long show that
educates and entertains you. While Grave Encounters doesn’t really educate you about
the fake hospital and its past, it certainly entertains and makes way for a
sequel.
Grave Encounters 2
(2012)
Plot: In this
sequel to Ghost Adventures, we find out the real reason the show was cancelled
(it’s not his tight shirts, large glasses, or spikey hair.)
Thoughts: This
did the exact opposite of what Grave Encounters did and to a not so pleasing
end. It starts out serious, following a group of film students who want to see
if Grave Encounters was real or not. Their investigation leads them back to the
hospital, where we get what every sequel promises. We have more monsters, and
they’re more aggressive. We have deeper explorations of the hospital, as well
as further investigation into the doctors and nurses behind it all. But toward
the middle, it starts getting ridiculous. A lot of the kills seem like they’re
just done for the sake of someone dying. And the final kill was completely
goofy and unrealistic. The ghosts want you to finish the film? Wasn’t it
finished in the first one? Wouldn’t it make better sense to just make sure no
one who shows up leaves, furthering new visitors with a bit of curiosity? Oh,
and in order to escape, you need to go through a doorway in the basement,
instead of out the front door where you came in? I liked the first cast better,
and it kind of saddens me that in the current state of horror you can’t leave
any survivors, even though you’re probably going to do a sequel. Sure, there
was one, but he was a shell of the man he used to be. Most of the cast, or all
of the cast, from the first could have survived and made it out. I gladly would
have watched a sequel to that, perhaps a new place, or maybe even the same
place, or hell, why not the Banshee Chapter?
When I write a lot of questions, it means I feel like a great opportunity
has been wasted.
Verdict: If you
liked the first, you’ll see the second one, but beware, it’s not that great.