Old Houses Suck

You might have heard people talking about how cool it is to own an old house, especially if they're creepy or remote, but nothing sucks worse than having to DIY dangerous shit on a regular basis. I do alright for myself in life, but I'm not wealthy in the slightest. When my roof is leaking, my ass gets to go upstairs and figure out where. Recently the electric went out in the hallway. Breaker keeps shutting everything off. Not a huge deal, but it does kind of suck taking a shower in the dark (hallway light, basement lights, and bathroom light are on the same circuit.) Nothing makes me want to pound someone's face more than when they give me this smiley "Look it up on Youtube" response to everything. First off, jackass, everyone with the internet has heard of Youtube, Google, and thirty other services you think you're cool or smart for mentioning. Second, we're talking about electricity, and there is only so many things I'm going to try before I call in a professional, which I personally don't want to pay for. When you're telling me how to change out a circuit breaker and you neglect to mention basic safety, I'm going to assume you didn't properly Google shit.  

In short, buy a new house. You'll be dead before any major problems occur. 

 Notice no one on the set

 of his show is happy 

when he shows up.