Who the hell invented Vevo? Ever notice how if you want to
hear a song and you wind up going to Youtube to hear it (see entry on how I
hate people who go to Youtube to listen to music instead of watch it), only to
be tricked into clicking on a Vevo sponsored one? Yeah, everyone has. They take
a five minute song and turn it into six. This is shocking, being as the
Wikipedia article says Vevo was formed with "the goal being to attract
more high-end advertisers." You'd think their goal would be to attract
people who wanted to watch videos, until you actually listen to one.
A real time analysis of Smashing Pumpkin's Bullet with
Butterfly Wings (or Despite All My Rage, or Rat in a Cage):
The page loads, complete with an ad to the top right, above
the "similar" videos. Indeed, while thinking about this song, I want
nothing more than to drive the all new Chevy Sonic, like all other Smashing
Pumpkins fans, or people who just like this one song of theirs.
Do you:
a. Click the advertisement and see a video ad.
b. Continue watching the video, as brought to you by Vevo,
proudly displayed beneath.
c. Google how to block Vevo videos from ever turning up on
your Youtube searches.
I decide to stick with my original purpose and watch the
video. But wait, there is another advertisement, this one placed at the
beginning of the video. What do the Smashing Pumpkins have to do with 4G on my
mobile phone? I'm watching this on a wired connection at a desktop. Now that I
think about it, what does a washed up stage magician have to do with 4G? Probably
about as much as Vevo has to do with bringing you a quality service. At least
the ad is loud and clear.
The video starts and I still can’t believe Billy Corgan isn’t
female, as he proclaims, “The world is a vampire.” At least that’s how I
remember it. Sadly my speakers do not have a volume knob capable of bringing
the video up to an audible level. After one minute of the actual video, approximately
the same amount of time it took them to tell me about 4G, I decide to click off
on another video that catches my eye. Sadly, it too is brought to me by, you
guessed it, Vevo. But first this unrelated, thirty-second commercial that is
guaranteed to piss you off.