Nothing is more annoying than trying to read and having it
interrupted. I believe there are several reasons people do this, so let’s
briefly explore a few.
Some people see you reading and assume you are doing so
because you’re alone. They would be correct. It is just me and my copy of The Catcher
in the Rye and, sitting quietly amongst ourselves and waiting for the next
famous person that catches our eye. They’re not the one, luckily. Others think
you read out of boredom, because there is no possible way you can get enjoyment
out of a lump of paper with ink on it. A typical conversation starts something
like:
“What book you reading?”
“The Antarctic Cookbook.”
“I’ve never heard of it.”
They wait for you to reply, but you keep reading.
“Did you catch that basketball game last night?”
You only have two options. Kill them, or kill yourself.
Sure, there are others to consider, but they should understand why if they have
ever read a book and will pat you on the back afterward. Even if you do get sentenced for murder, at
least you have done society a favor and will now enjoy plenty of reading time.
Then we have the ones who think you care to be on a superior
intelligence level (and they obviously are, too!) If great minds think alike, and
you’re one of them, you should know I want nothing more than for you to get
lost. I read books because they sound interesting, not because my college
professors read them. Book sobs love to interrupt you to inform you they read
far superior authors than you and would never sink so low as reading a popular writer,
ones that actually make money in their lifetime. They read maybe five authors
and think they know everything. These people deserve to be smashed in the face
with whatever antiquarian tome they are holding (Never use your own book.) I
don’t really know what antiquarian means, but I assume it implies these people
don’t like you putting fish in a tank and worse, members of PETA. Smash them
again.