Sunday, January 13, 2013

Bring On the RFID Chip


In case you live in a country that doesn't read my blog, rapid-frequency identification chips are what every conspiracy theorists and paranoid schizophrenic worries the government will force us to use as a form of identification. It is even somewhere in the Book of Revelations where it talks about not being able to buy and sell because they don’t have the mark of the beast. Normally, I would admit that the government could misuse this and track down where I write my blog, attempting to prevent me from “starting” an international coalition of anti-social sleeper cells made up of disenfranchised hate bloggers across the globe. But I actually like living here and so far have shown little resistance aside from pointing out all the asinine things people do. Now looking through my wallet reveals 4 debit cards, 3 credit cards, and 1 health spending account card, all used for purchases. This doesn't include my driver’s license, car insurance card, medical insurance card, dental insurance card, university ID, or any of the half dozen store membership cards I carry. Thank God I never use cash.

This obvious annoyance would go away forever if we could simply wave our hand to make a purchase instead of rummaging through your wallet for a five minutes. If a cop wants your ID, give him a quick middle finger, which allows him to scan your chip and reveal you are not wanted for armed robbery or sex with minors, and that you just purchased 12 rolls of Bounty Paper Towels an hour ago. But he will never know why and that’s good enough for me. The government doesn't go after people for intent, unless they intend to be terrorists. Sure, there have been cases where people were sent to Guantanamo for looking like one, but they probably were secretly planning something anyway; it’s in the eyes. All I know is my back hurts from sitting on that wallet, which is why I never sit on my wallet. I also forget the damn thing sometimes. If I had an RFID chip, my problems would be solved. Who’s with me?   

RFID chips cannot catalog everything in a women's purse. 
Yet.

Keywords

13 1984 200 2012 2013 2014 300 4G 9/11 911 Abercrombie abortion Abraham Lincoln addiction adoption Affleck AIDS Alec Alex Trebek Algeria. alive Amazon american express... well Amy Grant Android Andy Griffith Angelina Jolie Angry Birds Annoyances App Arabic Armstrong Arnold Arnold Schwarzenegger Aron Ralston Asia assault Australia bacon Bahamas Baldur's Gate Baldwin banished baseball beans Belgium Ben Ben Affleck Benjamin Wade Bible bidet Billy Corgan birthday Black Sabbath Black Sunday blank blind Blu-Ray Blue Oyster Cult Bob Marley Book books Bowser Brad Pitt braille Brazil brendan hood Brett Michaels Bruce Willis Bullet with Butterfly Wings calculus California Canada cancer Captain Ahab card Caribbean Carl Weathers Cat in the hat cellar cellphone cellular Challenge Challenger Charles S. Dutton Che Guevara Chevy Chick-fil-a China Christianity Christmas Chrome chronotype Chuck E. Cheese Cincinnati Cincinnati Bengals cleveland Colgate comedy communication Cookbook Corey Hart credit Crest Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Cypress Hill Dan Severn Danny DeVito danzig Dave Brockie david icke DC death debit Dell democracy Denmark Dennis Quaid Denzel Washington Dew Claw Die Ding DNA dog dollar Dolph Lundgren Doomsday Dr. Oz dr. seuss drive duck dynasty Dungeons and Dragons eHow Elbert Hubbard English Etsy Eva Mendes farewell fat Father's Day feminism feminist fields Fierce film finals Finland Firefox Fish Fitch flashback food Ford Ford Bronco Foreign Forrest Gump freaky friday Friday the 13th FU game gay gay marriage George Clooney German Germany Ghost Hunters ghosts Glenn Danzig God Google Greece groucho marx guardians of the galaxy Günther GWAR hail Hallmark Harrison harry potter hate Haunted heaven Hell Heracles hero heroes high-end advertisers Hindu Hippo Hispanic history hogwart horoscope horror House of Leaves Houston how the grinch stole christmas Hunter S. Thompson I think I'm cool ID India indians infernal insanis Insanislupus Internet Explorer Japan Jeopardy Jesus Joe Johnny Cash Joseph joy Judaism Judas Judy Garland Keanu Reeves Ken Shamrock Kentucky Kevin Bacon Kevin Matthews Kevin Sorbo kids Kill Kruger Lance Language lard Last Supper Latin Latino latte Lawrence Legion Limbaugh Lion Loki Lomax love LSD Lucy Lawless lupercalia lupus macy's mad magazine Magnum P.I. Insanis Mars Mary Marylin Monroe mastercard Mayan mayeb not american express. McDonald's Meatballs Media Monday memorial Metallica Microsoft Milton Mitt Mobile monday monster Moon Moon Monday Morgan Freeman Morse Code Mother's Day motor Movie movie monday MSInfo multimedia Monday murder music music monday Myspace Napster Neil Nelson Mandela new york News Night Watch Norse Norwegian Black Metal notre dame Oakley Obama October Olympics one organ donor owl Packard Bell Paul Paul Ryan Paul Templer Paul Walker peace PETA pharmacy phone pig pit bull Pittsburgh Penguins poetry Politics poverty Powerball President quote rack Rainbow random rat Ray-Ban Read reddit reggae religion Republican Revelations review richwood rob zombie Rocky Rolling Stone Romney Royce Gracie Rush Russia Russian Ryan Ryan Gosling Safari Saint Matthew Salma Hayek santa Satan saturday Schwarzenneger science science sunday Seagate sex Slayer Smashing Pumpkins Sonic Soul Temple South Africa Spanish stake land Stanley Cup star Starbucks Steve Guttenberg stop sign study suicide sunday sunglasses supernatural supernatural Saturday Sweden Swedish Sweetest Day Sword in the Stone Sylvester Stallone T. Rex taxes Terminator Texas thankful thanksgiving The Book of Five Rings The Catcher in the Rye the Grapes of Wrath They (2002) Tiger Direct Tom Tom hanks Tour de France Toys ‘R’ Us traffic Turkey TV Tyrese Gibson UCI UFC UK US USADA USDA Utah Valentine's Day vampire Venezuela Vevo Vice video Vince Gill vinyl visa vodka voting Wailers Wal-Mart Washington water fountain weather wednesday Western Digital Western Sky Western Union wiki wiki wednesday Wikipedia William Fowler Willie wine wizard wolves Youtube Zimbabwe