Bob Marley

Bob Marley had one thing going for him; he was the only reggae musician anyone knew by name (or has ever heard of aside from the Wailers, who, you guessed, played for Bob Marley.) Because of this, his face was plastered all over the place, and sometimes confused for Che Guevara, who shared a similar fortune, but was unfortunately shot to death and never got any money from his merchandise. Unlike Bob. But why is Marley so cool? Most people can only tell you the choruses from his songs. This is because they only listened to him while smoking weed with a friend who listened to Bob Marley. The friend, whose brain was about useless, only listened to Bob Marley because they could remember the choruses. It seems like a never ending cycle. It’s not. It’s really simple. It’s a sad existence when you get into music and only get famous for one song (Hip Hop). Even worse is when you get famous for a bunch of songs that all sound the same. My theory is that Marley was deaf and the Wailers were talentless hacks that worked at some Caribbean, reggae restaurant similar to Chuck E. Cheese, where they filled in playing only one song over and over whenever the robotic band malfunctioned. When they finally bought a back-up robotic band, they fired them, and as luck would have it, they worked the same corner as Bob. If you would for one minute stop trying to be cool (you weren’t and won’t be anyway,) you would actually hear the songs, which consist of the same basic melodies found in all reggae (one). Have I heard all of his songs? No, I just downloaded one and looped it for forty minutes. The effects were the same; I still hate Bob Marley.