Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Popiel and Hatto II (Not a Rap Group)

Wiki Wednesday is all about bringing you my interesting finds from the wonderful world of Wikipedia and I have something rather special for you today. Two entries carried the same exact theme, so I thought it best to share the similarity of their demise.
Popiel was a pre-Polish prince who ruled over the Polans and Goplans, western Slavic tribes that more or less invented Inspector Gadget. Okay, that's just an educated guess. But apparently Popiel was a cruel and unusual ruler, and I quote, "only cared about wine, women, and song." My kind of guy. As you can expect, his wife was a really hot German (fucking Germans) who was obsessed with power and manipulated her husband into doing her bidding (don't they all?) His magical number of 12 uncles decided to get rid of him, but the wife poisoned them instead. When the people got word, they rebelled, so the royal couple fled to a nearby tower. While there, they were eaten alive by a throng of menacing mice.
Hatto II was the arch-bishop of Mainz, which also made him a prince, a cruel one, possibly crueler than Hatto I, who was only struck by lightning. During a famine, the people demanded H-2 give up some of his grain, which he did, for a ridiculous price they couldn't even afford (fucking Germans again). They got pissed and organized Occupy Mainz, where five or so of them picketed, while everyone else took to Twitter and Facebook, pretending like they did something. H-2 decided to punish their ungratefulness by promising to feed all of them. They went to the barn where the food was going to be handed out, which was empty, and Hatto had them locked in it while it was set on fire. The famine was brilliantly wiped out as he remarked, "Hear the mice squeak!" When he returned home, his castle was stormed by a throng of mice, which chased him across water to a tower, where they finally found him and ate him. 
The moral of this story is that unless you're nobility or royalty, you're just a rat and they people above you must feed you, or you can eat them. Body of Christ? But with so many towers named Mouse Tower, why doesn't that Mouse Trap game have a damn tower? 

I imagine rats looked like this back in the day.

Popiel
Hatto II, Arch-Bishop of Mainz, of the Holy Roman Empire



Blog Archive

Keywords

13 1984 200 2012 2013 2014 300 4G 9/11 911 Abercrombie abortion Abraham Lincoln addiction adoption Affleck AIDS Alec Alex Trebek Algeria. alive Amazon american express... well Amy Grant Android Andy Griffith Angelina Jolie Angry Birds Annoyances App Arabic Armstrong Arnold Arnold Schwarzenegger Aron Ralston Asia assault Australia bacon Bahamas Baldur's Gate Baldwin banished baseball beans Belgium Ben Ben Affleck Benjamin Wade Bible bidet Billy Corgan birthday Black Sabbath Black Sunday blank blind Blu-Ray Blue Oyster Cult Bob Marley Book books Bowser Brad Pitt braille Brazil brendan hood Brett Michaels Bruce Willis Bullet with Butterfly Wings calculus California Canada cancer Captain Ahab card Caribbean Carl Weathers Cat in the hat cellar cellphone cellular Challenge Challenger Charles S. Dutton Che Guevara Chevy Chick-fil-a China Christianity Christmas Chrome chronotype Chuck E. Cheese Cincinnati Cincinnati Bengals cleveland Colgate comedy communication Cookbook Corey Hart credit Crest Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Cypress Hill Dan Severn Danny DeVito danzig Dave Brockie david icke DC death debit Dell democracy Denmark Dennis Quaid Denzel Washington Dew Claw Die Ding DNA dog dollar Dolph Lundgren Doomsday Dr. Oz dr. seuss drive duck dynasty Dungeons and Dragons eHow Elbert Hubbard English Etsy Eva Mendes farewell fat Father's Day feminism feminist fields Fierce film finals Finland Firefox Fish Fitch flashback food Ford Ford Bronco Foreign Forrest Gump freaky friday Friday the 13th FU game gay gay marriage George Clooney German Germany Ghost Hunters ghosts Glenn Danzig God Google Greece groucho marx guardians of the galaxy Günther GWAR hail Hallmark Harrison harry potter hate Haunted heaven Hell Heracles hero heroes high-end advertisers Hindu Hippo Hispanic history hogwart horoscope horror House of Leaves Houston how the grinch stole christmas Hunter S. Thompson I think I'm cool ID India indians infernal insanis Insanislupus Internet Explorer Japan Jeopardy Jesus Joe Johnny Cash Joseph joy Judaism Judas Judy Garland Keanu Reeves Ken Shamrock Kentucky Kevin Bacon Kevin Matthews Kevin Sorbo kids Kill Kruger Lance Language lard Last Supper Latin Latino latte Lawrence Legion Limbaugh Lion Loki Lomax love LSD Lucy Lawless lupercalia lupus macy's mad magazine Magnum P.I. Insanis Mars Mary Marylin Monroe mastercard Mayan mayeb not american express. McDonald's Meatballs Media Monday memorial Metallica Microsoft Milton Mitt Mobile monday monster Moon Moon Monday Morgan Freeman Morse Code Mother's Day motor Movie movie monday MSInfo multimedia Monday murder music music monday Myspace Napster Neil Nelson Mandela new york News Night Watch Norse Norwegian Black Metal notre dame Oakley Obama October Olympics one organ donor owl Packard Bell Paul Paul Ryan Paul Templer Paul Walker peace PETA pharmacy phone pig pit bull Pittsburgh Penguins poetry Politics poverty Powerball President quote rack Rainbow random rat Ray-Ban Read reddit reggae religion Republican Revelations review richwood rob zombie Rocky Rolling Stone Romney Royce Gracie Rush Russia Russian Ryan Ryan Gosling Safari Saint Matthew Salma Hayek santa Satan saturday Schwarzenneger science science sunday Seagate sex Slayer Smashing Pumpkins Sonic Soul Temple South Africa Spanish stake land Stanley Cup star Starbucks Steve Guttenberg stop sign study suicide sunday sunglasses supernatural supernatural Saturday Sweden Swedish Sweetest Day Sword in the Stone Sylvester Stallone T. Rex taxes Terminator Texas thankful thanksgiving The Book of Five Rings The Catcher in the Rye the Grapes of Wrath They (2002) Tiger Direct Tom Tom hanks Tour de France Toys ‘R’ Us traffic Turkey TV Tyrese Gibson UCI UFC UK US USADA USDA Utah Valentine's Day vampire Venezuela Vevo Vice video Vince Gill vinyl visa vodka voting Wailers Wal-Mart Washington water fountain weather wednesday Western Digital Western Sky Western Union wiki wiki wednesday Wikipedia William Fowler Willie wine wizard wolves Youtube Zimbabwe