Maybe I’m making a sweeping generalization, but I just can’t
buy it. For thousands of years, people have done everything from reading coffee
grounds to taking a steaming pile of shit on ceremonial rocks and claiming they
can speak with the dead or see the future. But the interpreter is the only one
who can understand. Now that it’s the age of technology, you play back a
recording and you hear voices? Right. I’ve had cellphone conversations with
strange voices on them, but I’m pretty sure it’s T-Mobile’s crappy service.
The paranormal shows use Electronic Voice Phenomena as a go
to method for contacting the dead, primarily when you don’t have an overly
theatrical medium. Notice The Dead Files, where you have an investigator and a
medium, doesn’t resort to fancy high tech stuff, while Ghost Adventures does.
Of course, GA also has regular demonic possession, too, though, so…. Yeah. Similarly,
those who contact the dead tend to make some kind of exaggerated action, like
contorted faces, grinding teeth as they speak, or overly excited eye movements.
They then charge a hundred dollars an hour, while dropping 30 advertisements
for their services while on camera. You can buy a digital recorder for that
price and use it for years, so I guess if you actually pick some strange sounds
up and let the audience decide what they hear, it’s an excellent cost-cutting
measure.
But no one lets the audience decide what is spoken. Whenever
they break out the recordings, or even that stupid Spirit Box thing that mimics
the relaxing sounds of a cattle prod being used next to your eardrum, I close
my eyes and ask myself what I am hearing as the “voice” plays. The answer to
that is almost always inaudible noise. It’s not until the show tells me what
they heard that I actually recognize anything, i.e. I didn’t. At all. Now there
have been a few that I was impressed with, but for all I know they are the
result of post-production.
Anyone can shoot down a paranormal method in order to sound
superior, so I won’t end this here. Instead, I’m going to dig out my old
digital recorder and plan on conducting a test. In the event I actually get
something, anything, I’ll upload them and ask people to submit what they think
they are hearing, after I have written down what I think I am hearing. That
sounds like an even better test to me. I’m putting my money where my mouth is.
This week, or next week, or sometime soon, expect a response.