Personally, I hope God does a much better job of directing the end of the world.
I won't waste time reviewing this film, but I will say that if future technology like this holds up, all of us will be able to make movies by cutting and pasting from every single horror film we have ever seen and making our own films. Exorcist III diner scene, what? Okay, a review (taken from my blog), just so none of you see it.
Tagline: A whore in the desert. Angels falling from the sky. Tyrese Gibson. It's the end of the world.
I once read this article about speed dating, where people all get together and switch seats every ten minutes with a new partner. I guess it’s kind of like an orgy for celibate people. Well, this film was speed directed. Every five or ten minutes is directed by someone else. Luckily they all consistently used ‘Camera Angles 101’ for filming.
The story is a reimagining of the last book in the bible, Revelations (Prequel, anyone?) Instead of angels coming down and making us all pay for our sins in what can be imagined as the worst possible pain and suffering, we are instead forced to pay and see the leader of God’s army rebel against him in order to save some pregnant chick whose son will somehow save humanity (obviously covered in Revelations 2: The Revenge). They also skipped all the other cool elements of the story that would have been spectacular if taken literally or metaphorically. The writing may have been done by a ten year old. I am still investigating that. But my ten-year-old nephew writes far superior films.
The cast can be divided into hopes and fears.
Hopes
Dennis Quaid
Charles S. Dutton
That kid from Sling Blade
Adrianne Palicki will get naked
Tyrese Gibson will drop out due to other commitments.
Fears
Paul Bettany
That other angel that looked like Cameron off of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
That girl on the OC
Adrianne Palicki will NOT get naked
Tyrese Gibson will NOT drop out due to other commitments.
In the end, I got a mix of both hopes and fears. Quaid and Dutton did great at playing two veterans now running a diner. The kid from Sling Blade further etched his immobile career into stone. The Angels were from ....England..... No nudity, too much Tyrese Gibson. Christopher Walken did not reprise his role as Gabriel.
I rate this film 10 stars out of 10 stars, if you add the overall rating for each director’s segment. In short, don’t even bother.