You Don't Know Who the Guardians of the Galaxy Are

"This movie's gonna be awesome!"

"I can't wait for this to finally be released!"

"OMG! Guardians of the Galaxy trailer FTW!"

Just shut up. 

When the X-Men movies came out, people were stoked and it made sense, because they were arguably the baddest super hero group around, and if nothing else, people knew who Wolverine was. When the Avengers came out, you had Iron Man and the Hulk to lead it in, so even if you didn't know who the other characters were initially, you did by the time the film was released. I get that maybe you watched the trailer and thought, "That looks cool."

But if I sat you down without access to the internet and asked who the Guardians of the Galaxy were, as in the individual members, only Marvel nerds would have been able to answer the question without resorting to shit like, "That raccoon guy." I get that a handful of nerds convinced a big studio to do this movie and I'm certain they pointed out the success of the Avengers to get it made, but no one ever talked about this shit before, and now they're apparently closet GotG fans who have read every appearance. People are so full of shit. 

Some of my favorite Guardians of the Galaxy.

The Crime Rate Has Decreased!

So the crime rate has greatly decreased in the past few decades here in the United States, yet every time something horrible happens, everyone gets bent out of shape and justifies their over-protection of their kids with it. These news articles about sick and twisted people are heavily commented on with the readers disgust and how you can't trust people anymore, etc. Yeah, it's bullshit. 

This crap has been happening since the beginning of civilization. It's nothing new, but to say that the world is a worse place is completely false. What has happened is that you no longer hear local news, but instead world news, and the number one attention grabbing headlines (that don't involve Kanye West and that rich girl he married) are about things like rape, murder and child abduction. Maybe most people read them because of the shock value, actually seeking a nice resolution? Maybe they don't? Regardless, try living in the real world, where none of this shit happens on a daily basis.

The music world is still a dangerous place. 

Karma Might Be a Bitch (A Retraction)

I once wrote about how stupid it is to believe in the western idea of Karma, that anything you do will come back to you, good or bad. Well, okay, I don't believe in that and am not retracting my stance, but something very ugly recently somewhat corrected itself, and since blogging is therapeutic, why not write about my side of the story, since I never have?

From the time you meet someone, their actions and interactions with you impact how you view that person. It can be one night, a week, month, several, a year, etc. that you spend with them, and either that relationship grows, stagnates, or dies. My relationship involving a few people grew rather rapidly. It was good, great, awesome relationship. Which then abruptly ended when false allegations were launched against me. By false, I mean completely fictional and not based on anything real, outside of someone's imagination.

I am Insanislupus, and I am half-beast, the missing link between man and wolf. I am rightfully viewed as the purveyor of manliness, so I don't blame people when they continue to harbor secret desires. However, completely making something up that has no basis in reality, spreading it around to try and get back at me for exposing you as a fraud, and actually getting a handful of people to think less of me, or stop talking to me altogether. Those people can fuck off.

Last paragraph, I promise. So when this lying, manipulative whore who acted like I was all over her, or whatever bullshit she said, was caught screwing around behind her boyfriend's back, the truth was finally revealed and all charges were dropped against me. Well, at least in some people's eyes, and that's what matters most. Those who stopped talking to me have yet to rebuild that bridge, which more or less means they feel completely stupid for taking the wrong side, and should. 

I lied. This is the last paragraph.

Pastor Jamie Coots

The snake-handling preacher died from a snake bite. He was from Middlesboro, KY, which oddly (for Kentucky at least), isn't in the middle, but deep south. While our state is known as the gateway to the south, and there are easily four distinct cultural regions (I'm from northern Kentucky), I am very familiar with his beliefs, in fact, my uncle-by-marriage's father died the same way. Glad that, because he was a religious fundamentalist that most had never heard of, everyone was nice enough to call him a moron and be thankful for his death. To them, I hope that some day, as you're dying, you're surrounded by people who verbally lash out at you for things that aren't their business. 
Don't get me wrong, snake handling is, in my opinion, idiotic, and not getting medical treatment for a snake bite is even more so, but people risk their lives every day, and often times the lives of others, yet no one is lashing out at them. Having unprotected sex can kill you, but people have no problem with that. If anything else, the man died doing what he believed in, and unless you're going to die in the name of being one of the biggest cocks on a comment thread, then shut the fuck up. 

WWICD?

Which Records Should I Buy First?

Digital is convenient and nothing is better than being turned on to new music while on Youtube, except cramming thousands of songs onto something that fits into the palm of your hand. However, Vinyl has the same magic as a book and if that turns you on, then so be it. For whatever reason, I'm one of the few people my friends know who have vinyl, so I get asked a lot of questions. They might be detecting the bullshit, or feeling overwhelmed by the warehouse of un-played vinyl sitting in the historic apartments in the middle of the ghetto, of their hipster friends. I understand that, since I know it's impressive to walk into a music library. But what records should you buy?

Simple. Always buy the albums you listen to the most. I don't care if you own the files, the CD, whatever, if you're switching over to vinyl, it's that simple a decision. Don't be caught up in completing discographies. If you love one album from a band, but merely like the other ones, then that one album is a must, and the rest can wait. New albums are great, but don't be afraid to buy a used album. There's no reason to pay several times more for a re-issue, when someone else is getting rid of the original in great shape. They'll almost always sound the same and often don't offer anything new except for bogus remastering. Audiophiles are almost always full of shit and argue against this. Listen to your albums instead of them.

Everything Happens For a Reason

Yes, it does. But the reasons have nothing to do with your predetermined fate. You walk into a building, it explodes, and you lose your limbs. The reason it exploded was because someone planted a bomb in it. The reason you lost your limbs was because you were too close to the bomb. This had nothing to do with luck or happening for a reason. It wasn't even random. That was a hypothetical situation in case you were someone who walked into a bombed building and lost your limbs. 

I'm kind of tired of the saying, not because it's redundant, but because it's a cop out of people dealing with the shitty hand they've been dealt in life. It should be replaced with, first, taking responsibility for your own actions and, second, preventing it from happening in the future. Stop passing the buck. No one owes you anything, least of all some creator who obviously doesn't like you if you think they brought something bad upon you. They had no hand in making your life miserable; your life just sucks.  

This happened for a reason. The reason was that 

God magically planted a driver who didn't know 

what they were doing or wasn't paying attention.

You're Still Giving Entertainers Money

This is a follow-up to this post.

But my point remains, you're handing money over for nothing. If I walked up to you and said, I'm no longer going to walk down this street unless you give me $5, you'd keep walking. If a musician you barely know about asks for the same to further their music career, some people give them the damn money. You're not buying anything from them, you're handing them cash to further a career in a business they're obviously not good at.

Here's how it should work: Buy the latest edition of the Antisocial Club for $1, or the next week's for $5, or the next month's for $15.

Here's how it works for scam artists and the people that fall for their bullshit: Buy the latest edition of the Antisocial Club for $1, or the next week's for $7, or the next month's for $31, or give me $100 for no reason.

Here's how it works when you keep it real: Get the latest edition of the Antisocial Club for $0, or the next week's for $0, or the next month's for $0, or give me nothing, because I work and make my own money and am apparently successful at this very simple and basic aspect of life.

How Will You Die?

I visited my godchildren yesterday, four of them, and had them all engage in a conversation about how they were going to die. They have been around for several years now, from about 3 to 13 and I felt the conversation was appropriate. If you guessed that I am not serious, you would be correct, but this is a direct parallel to the way people talk about online games, apps, websites, etc. Recently, when Facebook turned 10, I started to notice a lot of articles online talking about it's demise, as if it wasn't the most popular social network in the world and near death. Why? It's popular because people like using it for various reasons. A lot of people are on it, and it is an extension of your social life, so unless you're a paranoid conspiracy theorist, or just don't like people, you have one. Even more annoying are the bands, musicians, artists, etc. who do nothing but benefit from a free service, yet won't shut up about how they hate it. No one knows who you are, so let's bash the very service that gives us more popularity and a way to connect with others we normally wouldn't be able to. How about those people die?

Here lies Facebook, 

just because you wanted 

it to die, it did. You're cool. 

Bering Sea Gold

I like the show. It's very entertaining and probably not even a realistic portrayal of sea dredging. That's fine, since I'm not one of the morons who sit on their couch and think they're going to do this for a living sometime in the future and make millions of dollars. Apparently they don't watch the show, since it certainly doesn't portray it as a lucrative business, or an easy lifestyle. Almost every interview on the show is about someone being broke. You have to watch the entire season before anyone makes any money, if they even do. They complain about the quality of work and the low pay they achieve for their troubles there. Even the people who have been doing this their entire lives aren't rich. So now these fans are going to move across the continent, where the weather is worse, the work is harder, and the pay is still very poor. They know nothing about boats, mechanics, swimming, the sea, gold, Alaska, etc. They don't any much money to get started either. 
In response, I have decided to produce a show called Covington Street Gold. In it, you have to go around and find people selling gold jewelry and other items on the cheap. At the end of the day, you go to Willie Lomax's Foo's Gold, the mobile pawn shop and exchange owned and operated by the only man to survive 50+ homeless years on the streets of Covington. He will offer you two dollars per piece of gold you bring him. Series premiere this summer. 

Foo's Gold may doze, but never close. 

Most Blacks Don't Look Like Samuel L. Jackson

Sam Rubin's retarded. Sam Jackson called him out on it. I thought it was hilarious and I've heard this ridiculous rumor of people confusing Larry Fishburne and Jackson, but they look nothing alike. Nothing! In case you're not hip to it, Rubin asked Jackson about "his" Super Bowl commercial. Only it was Fishburne in the commercial and not Jackson. Samuel L. refused to let up and called out the ignorance. 

I often heard the "all black people look alike" line growing up, and having classes in grade school with several blacks, I understood it completely. The only problem was, the majority of said black students were related. They were cousins, all sharing grandparents who had about a dozen children, and their children followed with not-as-large-but-still-large families, all of which stayed in the same neighborhood. Naturally, they shared a lot of features, but I noticed that there were other, white families, who had a similar story. Of course, the members of each of these families were said to all look alike, and no one was saying all white people look alike. My mother had seven brothers and sisters and shockingly you can tell they are related. 

My point, if I can be brief, is that while it's an almost extinct form, it's still racism and can be cured by only having basic slight observational skills. 

Laurence Fishburne (left), 

Denzel Washington (middle), 

and Samuel L. Jackson (right).

What To Do With Vacant Lots?

The city I am from has decided, rather than spend a few grand rehabbing a house and selling it, that it would make more sense to spend even more to demolish it and make it almost worthless. I can't blame them; they are dumb and can't help it. Then they ask the citizens what they should do with the soon to be vacant lot, or all of the other vacant lots they have created. Every hipster within a 100 mile radius wants to turn them into urban gardens, because they're so smart and cool and have no clue if there has ever even been a soil sample done, or if the plot even gets enough light, or if there is a Starbucks within walking distance. But when I am asked for an idea and it's not taken, I get mad. Don't ever waste my damn time.

Bad soil? No problem.

Little sunlight? No problem.

Starbucks five blocks away.

Fruit of the Loom

I used to wear Fruit of the Loom underwear, starting when I was a kid and everybody wore tighty-whiteys. I remember the doofuses that had to parade around in the commercials dressed like fruit. I even had the Underoos and have boycotted K-Mart ever since because they sold out of Incredible Hulk and never restocked, forcing me to wear ET. In my less particular adult life, I carried on with my preferred brand, until now. 

I don't know much about sewing, aside from it's probably someone in a third world country feeding two sides of cloth into a machine. How hard is that? Every shirt I have is coming apart in the armpit. That sucks, but isn't too bad when you're wearing it as an undershirt. The boxer-briefs I wear, all four pairs by said company, are all coming apart at the seem in the crotch. Now I could make jokes that there isn't enough room in there, and it's ironically happening on the low-hanger testicle side as it is, but underwear have one mission. That mission is to protect my vitals and with a gaping hole right next to them we can officially declare this mission aborted! Hanes, don't fail me now.

Warren Buffet wears Hanes.

Apex

Man is an apex predator. Even in the wild, he has no natural enemies. Sure, some jackasses get mauled to death for getting too close, and the occasional animal that gets too familiar with people and ends their life. But imagine if we had to fear going outside. At the end of the day, you and your coworkers turn out the lights, grab your stuff and head for the door. You pause, looking out into the parking lot, before making a break for it. You head directly for your car, at first walking briskly, but halfway there you run, ignoring the screams of your less fortunate friends. This could happen very soon, like it already did in Verkhoyansk. Rise, brothers, rise!

Fuck the police!

Toad Road (2012)

Updated: On this fine, cold, snowy, icy, February 15th, 2014,  I would like to point out, since my point may have been missed, that the real life death of the lead is not more incentive to see this film, but it has turned this film into a weird sort of metafiction. Also, this day has brought to us the inclusion of a link to a review by the person I heavily quoted. His blog is much better for movie reviews than mine, except for this entry, and a few others where I talk about movies. 

Visit him here: For It Is Man's Number 

Update: Yet another person I spent time with in prison has reviewed this film. 

Visit him here: Horror 101 w/Dr. A.C.

I hate writing movie reviews, unless it's a film I absolutely cannot live without. This is not one of those cases, so I'll be brief. Toad Road is a psychedelic horror film, one that uses characters on drugs, a few bad-trip moments, a real urban legend involving the pursuit of the Seven Gates of Hell, and then leaves you with either an unsettling ending, or an unsattisfying one, depending on what you're looking for. If you're tired of seeing trip movies shot by people who have only heard wild stories of LSD weekends, this one has a much more accurate portrayal. If you've ever seen the Harmony Korine and Larry Clark film, Kids (1995), imagine that meets Marble Hornets, but involving a lot of drugs and haunting atmosphere. It's only 75 minutes, so it's not much of a commitment, but be warned that the majority of people hated it.

While nowhere near a perfect film, my friends started heavily bashing it, with one claiming that it was "one of the bigger pieces of shit I have watched on Netflix in recent months." He didn't actually write about it, so I'll not waste my time linking to his less popular blog. When I made the comment that the star had died from an overdose, he responded, "Her death from drugs means I have to entirely re-evaluate my opinion of the movie. Wait, no, it's still a piece of dogshit." The thing is, I respect his opinion on films and agree with most of what he reviews, so I was baffled why it was hated so much. Because of this, I figured maybe the reason I liked it was because I heard the story of the lead actress, Sara Anne Jones, long before the film was released. Naturally, I forgot all about the damn thing until the hate came, but having reread the same article and then watched the film, I rather enjoyed it and hope you do, too.

1. Start by reading this 

article about the female lead.

2. If you've never done hallucinogens, 

read this article next (otherwise, skip it or do drugs).

3. Read the Wiki page about the Seven Gates of Hell.

4. Watch the movie, or if you're still 

waiting around for some odd reason and 

you're a metal fan, listen to this video.

Jack Parsons

I have a pounding headache today and don't feel like doing much so here are two things. One, I was asked by a random member of the Anti-Social Club if I would be interested in participating in a discussion about my "work" here for her thesis on personality. No. Two, I was just now looking up Jack Williamson's wiki when I cam across Jack Parsons, again, since I've read about him before. There is something really interesting about people who have anything to do with space travel AND the occult. I'll leave you to make your own conclusions. 

Jack Parsons' Wiki

Bill Nye versus David Icke

The most shocking thing about last night's debate was that Ken Ham was a better orator than Bill Nye. Now before anyone gets butt hurt and goes on the defensive, it just means he was a better speaker, as in he didn't pause, always had an answer, and if you had never read a science book and were easily swayed, you'd be a creationist right now. But apparently I watched an entirely different debate than everyone else.

"Bill Nye just tore Ken Ham a new one!" The debate was very civil. I expected that from Bill Nye, but I didn't know anything about Ken Ham, except that he put the local crypto-watch on red alert when the truck delivering his dinosaur models crashed and sent several into the river. The Creation Museum in my home state of Kentucky, just so you know.

"Bill Nye made America look stupid with their beliefs!" ...The debate was very civil. I still expected that from Bill Nye, but I admit that Ken Ham is a complete moron. I don't really understand his logic. If my car breaks down on the side of the road, I don't open up the bible and turn to Mechanesis 12:20 to try and figure out how to fix it.

"Bill Nye and 96% of scientists don't believe in God!" Right, because last night's debate was another war among the religious and atheists. Also, your numbers are completely wrong. For the past 100 years, the number of scientist who believe in a god or equivalent has been about the same, roughly half. The rest are going to Hell. But I think you misinterpreted a completely different survey.

"Wake up, America!!! Science is the new religion!" This was a status update by the same idiot from above. I have a minor in sociology, so I feel I have a right to stereotype and categorize people. Since the definitions of science and religion are drastically different, I'll just call you an idiot and categorize you among the highly emotional people who make poor statements.  

"Bill Nye doesn't realize half of people don't go to church in Kentucky." This was actually true. Just to clarify, most people here are Christian by culture. About half of them are not affiliated with a church. Nearly 99% don't really care which one is right, creationism or evolution, since it doesn't impact there lives at all. 100% of the Anti-Social Club takes the opposite stance in everything, because that's what we do.

"How do both of you explain Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch? If it is a natural creature, where does it fit on the evolutionary chain? If it was created by God... why?" Okay, that last question was mine and it was asked during the debates and ignored by both sides. What are you guys afraid of? The truth? I don't appreciate being ignored. David Icke would have answered me.

And so 96% of people who invoke the holy name of Bill Nye were trying to look smarter than they were, but roughly half of them were complete idiots. Basically, if you were dumb before you watched the debate, you're going to be just as dumb after watching the debate. It's great you worship some dork in a bow tie over some Australian businessman who is 100% certain Jesus rode dinosaurs, but goddamn, get a life.

Start Here

Beware Who You're Funding

You know, I sat here thinking to myself, let's do a little tongue in cheek entry about some guy who likes to prey on young, impressionable teenagers, but then I told myself it's not really a laughing matter. I'm specifically talking about Rocky Perry and the Obsession With Teenage Girls. Okay, that was a jab at the lame titles he comes up with for his books. Maybe I'm being overly critical of his failed endeavors, such as getting young girls to meet him in motel rooms, but maybe I'm not. 

What bothers me is his limited success in being published and now funding a web series based on one of his stories. I'm sure that the production company has no clue they are dealing with a weirdo who hasn't been tried, convicted, imprisoned, and assaulted by fellow inmates who nicknamed him Play-Dough. But it is a scary world when someone like this can drift through society, having anything to do with teaching, I am very sympathetic to people with disabilities, and who isn't? But a reading disability like Dyslexia doesn't exactly excuse preying on teenagers; you're not Rocky Dennis, motherfucker.

A portion of proceeds 

goes to reviving Eric Stoltz' 

acting career.

Which Hollywood Director Are You?

You scored: Roman Polanski!!!

You're not weird and eccentric toward your sort of 

step-daughter like Woody Allen, or completely perverse 

in your lust for preteen boys like Victor Saliva, but you 

sit firmly between them with your thwarted plans for 

teenage girls just like Roman Polanski.  

Disclaimer: All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, having the shit beat out of them by a large, scary man who wanted nothing but their life in exchange for their attempted trespass against his daughter, is purely coincidental, and I'm in no way acquainted with relatives of said fictitious teenager.

The Day the Music Died

Today marks the day that Buddy Holly inadvertently killed two other musicians. Not trying to make light of the incident, but Big Popper and Ritchie Valens weren't the original people supposed to fly. Instead, it was Holly (who chartered the plane,) his bassist, Waylon Jennings, and his guitarist, Tommy Allsup. Because he was sick, Jennings gave up his seat to the Big Bopper. To be a cool cat, Allsup flipped a coin with Valens for the remaining seat, and lost. Roger Peterson was the young and inexperienced pilot who may have read one of the instruments wrong, causing the crash. 

Their last will and testament is The Day the Music Died by Don McLean; he sucks. I mean, really, name another great song by him. If you said Vincent, you have poor taste in music. Luckily he was able to put out that one, epic song that everyone knows to honor the fallen. I never knew about this incident until I saw the film, La Bamba, and now every time I hear a Valens song, it makes me sad. Ironically, what made me remember today's historic event was Esai Morales (Bob) posting something unrelated on Facebook. Small world. 

Before Sons of Anarchy was cool.

Groundhog Day Is Stupid

I get that it's a popular tradition, thanks to Bill Murray. I also get that it's part of someone's culture and has been around for awhile. But regardless of if the groundhog sees it's shadow or not, the season of winter isn't over until more than six weeks later. Even taking that into account, the stupid animal is only correct with it's prediction 39% of the time, or the equivalent of Sylvia Browne. 
I guess I could use this space to be trendy and point out the corporate greed of the latter, but that's been done to death now by the entire internet. But being as we don't get Groundhog Day as a paid holiday, and we also don't get Valentines Day either, we should combine the two. Groundhogtine Day would celebrate both groundhog meteorology and the deeds of St. Valentine, as well as the unreliability of both. Even better, furries will be left alone for the entire day and no jokes will be made about them. Okay, the last part is a stretch. 

How much wood would you chuck?

Groundhogs

Saint V

You Deserve Minimum Wage

I'm all for rich people making less money and having to pay hard workers more money than they currently do. I also get that living off minimum wage is very challenging and there are people trying to do that while raising kids. But seriously, how much money do you really want for flipping burgers and changing out fries?  I'm not going to harp on the injustices of the pay scale as it relates to what you do, but I am going to say that menial jobs should only get menial pay. Manual laborer is something anyone can do and that's exactly why it pays so little. Hostess had a union; they made Twinkies. That shit went bankrupt. You really don't need to pay someone $20 an hour to put cupcakes in a box, or watch a machine do it for you because it doesn't require a skill. Instead it requires an IQ barely above functioning.

I personally have a unique skill set that not too many people have, and while I certainly don't make minimum wage, I've complained a few times about my lack of opportunity at my current employer, particularly on how to increase my own income. But in life I've bounced around a lot. I've learned a hell of a lot. I've worked in everything from reconnaissance (didn't get paid) to management systems (didn't get paid) to fiber optics infrastructure (... got paid) and I'm stuck doing what I do. I could leave and do something else, but that would require a big change I currently like the stock options and retirement I'm building here. Maybe I've been given more opportunities than other people (I haven't,) but there comes a time when you need to go out an diversify yourself. Don't want to make minimum wage? Learn something besides what you're doing and get a different job. It really is that simple. 

Have it your way.