Movie Critics Are Stupid

Going to college, I learned that conformity is much appreciated. Not mainstream conformity, but the even worse, canonical arts conformity, where classical works are intermingled with a few contemporary, self-righteous, scholarly narcissists, who won some crap shoot to be added to the list. Are they good? Probably. Should they be remembered? Probably not. This doesn’t really have anything to do with movie critics, which is my main point.

Why the hell do all movie critics lead off with a paragraph that doesn’t have anything to do with the movie? I’m reading your critique because I want to know if the movie is good enough to watch, and not because I am interested in some bullshit experience you had as a youth that you somehow think is a good segue into a film which overshadows your entire existence, that you’re probably going to misinterpret and give nothing but negative feedback on, simply because it doesn’t measure up to some oft-hailed masterpiece it didn’t try to be in the first place.

Your job is about movies, not small glimpses into your own life that you feel makes you an even greater expert on a subject you have self-proclaimed expertise in. Sure, background info on yourself is fine, and can often explain why you may have liked or disliked something, but I’m not here to read your memoirs, and you’re probably not that interesting to begin with if you spend the majority of your time bashing everything the majority of people enjoyed.

Now there is a difference between someone who reviews movies and a movie critic, despite these terms often being used interchangeably. People who review movies do so because they enjoy films, enjoy writing about them, and usually love sharing their experiences with others, to encourage or discourage other viewers. They often form strong bonds of friendship out of their passionate hobby. Movie critics are snobs who like to point out the obvious, and sometimes the irrelevant, and like to rate the smallest detail against the greatest. They usually just want praise and to be more important than their subject of ridicule.

I have several friends who review movies, and no friends who are movie critics, because movie critics have no friends and have never been laid. They live miserable lives and try to suck everyone into their misery. You either like something, or you don’t, so avoid letting movie critics make that decision for you. 

6 Months

I've created six months worth of posts, an exercise that has allowed me to write every single day, or thereabouts, and I plan on continuing that, but not on this blog. I will continue to focus on my fiction writing, every day, but this blog will become less frequent, at least weekly, possibly Saturday or Sunday as an almost definite, (which more or less makes it indefinite), and who the hell knows what I'm going to write about? Not me. Fiction writing takes more than me sitting down and cranking out fifteen or so minutes of randomness, barely proofreading, and occasionally finding a funny picture to go along with it. It requires effort, work, devotion, perseverance, etc. and I cannot do both. I'm not trying to get rich here, but I've a story or two to tell. 75 countries and 4 territories have anti-social individuals, just like me, just like us, and for that, we should be proud in what we have achieved. Write on.