Latin

Just because you know a few Latin terms doesn't mean you know Latin. Just because you know Latin doesn't make you smart. Hell, just because you're Hispanic, it doesn't make you Latino. I could do this for days.

The amount of people on the internet who use Latin terms to look intelligent far exceed the amount of people off the internet who are intelligent. Now, I won't argue that knowing Latin gives you an edge on understanding the meaning of words from another language, but so does knowing more than one language. What if I don't need to know more than one language? In my own job, I would probably be better served speaking Arabic. The majority of jobs where you live probably require you to speak the native tongue, and not some language that has been dead for over a thousand years. In the United States, most people only speak one language, despite the influx of Spanish-speaking people. They expect them to learn the language and there is nothing wrong with that. If they plan on living here, they should have to speak the native tongue (and most do, so stop crying.) Same goes for internet scholars.

The only thing protecting people who use Latin terms from getting hit in the face is the internet. If we were face to face and you started dropping Latin terms, I'd floor you. That shit's annoying enough when I don't have to listen to it. In short, stop using Latin.

Wine Racks

The only thing I hate more than wine racks are people who own wine racks. Now for once I'm not bashing rich people who own multiple houses and by default have to buy the most expensive drink they can afford to maintain their status among people who waste their money on stupid shit. Nothing like a drink I can't afford, so I can return it to the rightful owner by shitting it out an hour later in a toilet that also serves as a water fountain. I'm also not bashing the lesser people who drink wine, even though they tend to be college graduates who dress like they're from the Bahamas, and pretend to know Asian languages and culture. They wax poetic about merlots, cabernets, and other Dungeons & Dragons character classes I've never heard of, as if I care; I don't. I'm talking about those who have small wine racks, sitting on the counter, or above the fridge, or just somewhere you will see it to think they are well cultured. Well, I drink wine and have a vintage grape Mad Dog 20/20 that I regularly rotate in my cellar, but you don't see me talking about it, or displaying it. Stop this imitation of rich people, buy a bottle of cheap wine that tastes like fruit and not feet, and kill it over dinner, making sure to toss the bottle in the trash and not saving it for an art project you'll try and sell later on Etsy. You'll thank me alter.

Bacon

The only thing I hate more than everyone talking about zombies on a daily basis are the ones who act like bacon was invented in 2012. “Bacon is awesome!" No shit, dumbass, that's why we've been eating it all of our lives. I'm glad you could take five minutes away from sipping your non-dairy, organic latte to tell me everything tastes better with bacon. Where the hell you think we've been getting the lard we cook with? Not Starbucks. This "poverty" food has been a staple of southern kitchens since before there was a southern United States. Okay, that last part might not be true, but did you know bacon was creating equality before rabid, lesbian feminists marched on Washington, D.C.? Wiki tells no lies; history says it was a gender-neutral food as it pertained to preparing it. Men and women, back to the kitchen. Everyone else who recently discovered bacon and feel the need to declare it on a regular basis because you think, incorrectly, that it makes you look cool or funny, shut up and choke on an over-priced, Venezuelan, low-fat, cheese Danish.