Sunday, January 13, 2013

Bring On the RFID Chip


In case you live in a country that doesn't read my blog, rapid-frequency identification chips are what every conspiracy theorists and paranoid schizophrenic worries the government will force us to use as a form of identification. It is even somewhere in the Book of Revelations where it talks about not being able to buy and sell because they don’t have the mark of the beast. Normally, I would admit that the government could misuse this and track down where I write my blog, attempting to prevent me from “starting” an international coalition of anti-social sleeper cells made up of disenfranchised hate bloggers across the globe. But I actually like living here and so far have shown little resistance aside from pointing out all the asinine things people do. Now looking through my wallet reveals 4 debit cards, 3 credit cards, and 1 health spending account card, all used for purchases. This doesn't include my driver’s license, car insurance card, medical insurance card, dental insurance card, university ID, or any of the half dozen store membership cards I carry. Thank God I never use cash.

This obvious annoyance would go away forever if we could simply wave our hand to make a purchase instead of rummaging through your wallet for a five minutes. If a cop wants your ID, give him a quick middle finger, which allows him to scan your chip and reveal you are not wanted for armed robbery or sex with minors, and that you just purchased 12 rolls of Bounty Paper Towels an hour ago. But he will never know why and that’s good enough for me. The government doesn't go after people for intent, unless they intend to be terrorists. Sure, there have been cases where people were sent to Guantanamo for looking like one, but they probably were secretly planning something anyway; it’s in the eyes. All I know is my back hurts from sitting on that wallet, which is why I never sit on my wallet. I also forget the damn thing sometimes. If I had an RFID chip, my problems would be solved. Who’s with me?   

RFID chips cannot catalog everything in a women's purse. 
Yet.