I Haven't Seen Your Pet

Nothing pisses me off more than the idiots who keep posting these Hurricane Sandy missing pet posters all over the social networks. Oh, you're missing your cat in New Jersey? Well, you're in luck! The hurricane winds picked them up and landed them safely into my loving arms, in Kentucky. It's a miracle. I'll ship them back in the mail. I get it that you might have friends in those cities, but wouldn't it be way cooler to the 99% of your friends who don't live there to not waste their time advertising an animal they will never find? We all love pets and everyone likes to be reunited with a lost one, but I personally think if it winds up several states away, it was trying to escape, so leave it the hell alone. 

Here's Johnny!