The only thing I hate more than wine racks are people who
own wine racks. Now for once I'm not bashing rich people who own multiple
houses and by default have to buy the most expensive drink they can afford to
maintain their status among people who waste their money on stupid shit.
Nothing like a drink I can't afford, so I can return it to the rightful owner
by shitting it out an hour later in a toilet that also serves as a water
fountain. I'm also not bashing the lesser people who drink wine, even though
they tend to be college graduates who dress like they're from the Bahamas, and
pretend to know Asian languages and culture. They wax poetic about merlots,
cabernets, and other Dungeons & Dragons character classes I've never heard of, as
if I care; I don't. I'm talking about those who have small wine racks, sitting
on the counter, or above the fridge, or just somewhere you will see it to think
they are well cultured. Well, I drink wine and have a vintage grape Mad Dog
20/20 that I regularly rotate in my cellar, but you don't see me talking about
it, or displaying it. Stop this imitation of rich people, buy a bottle of cheap
wine that tastes like fruit and not feet, and kill it over dinner, making sure
to toss the bottle in the trash and not saving it for an art project you'll try
and sell later on Etsy. You'll thank me alter.