Thursday, May 8, 2014

Drive-throughs

Most people have no clue if their alcohol stock will last them, especially when they have no clue how many people will show up that night and buying an overabundance of the shit will guarantee a stay in the hospital, if not for you, for someone else on the end of a Indian-cursed violence spell. Sure, a few 2 liters and some liquor will ultimately save the day in the eyes of your partiers, but some people don’t have time for that, myself included. It’s late and you don’t want anyone seeing you stumbling around half intoxicated and trying to purchase more alcohol. You manage to drive to the local drive through to purchase more. Oh, wait, those places barely exist these days.
It was really convenient when practically every city had the drive through. You could get your essentials, juice, milk, a loaf of bread, the daily paper, bags of snacks, candy bars, and of course adult magazine (and condoms, which you probably don’t need if you’re buying a magazine), as well as the whole purpose of these things, alcohol. But now you hardly see them and they severely lack the quality they once did. A drive through used to be a building you drove through and you could see everything they were selling. It was like standing in line at the grocery store and grabbing all the small items you forgot you needed while waiting on the slow ass in front of you that forgot an item or wants to put one back. We had one in Covington growing up, conveniently located next to the interstate, but like so many other great things. it didn’t survive the 80’s.

Now we have one that’s more like the drive through at McDonald’s called Liquor City, complete with an old man who hates his job and life, likes to take his sweet ass time because he did a piss poor job on the layout of the operation, and takes five minutes to inspect your ID, even if you’re older than him. The next closest thing is the adjacent city of Newport where they have the infamous Big Daddy’s. It’s only infamous because they never carded anyone until people started paying with credit cards. They always hire people who can’t do basic math with a calculator and you usually have to tell them how much you owe them, not the other way around. This world will never be the same.

Yes, this is a real place. We also have Cox Smokers.