Your Beard Looks Stupid

I can't grow a beard. It instead looks like I'm growing one for six months. I don't like shaving, but looking like a homeless drifter doesn't really suit me most of the time, so I shave occasionally. Could I grow one, I'd totally rock it, but I'm not waiting an entire year for the damn thing to grow in full. 

Beards are currently in style, and a bunch of feminized men have taken it upon themselves to declare that having a beard makes you a real man. Pft. Yeah, tell that to all of the police officers, firemen, EMTs, soldiers, etc. all or most of which do not have beards due to regulations. 

If you grow a beard because you want one, great. If you grow a beard because you hate shaving, even greater. If you're growing a beard to be cool, you're not. Stop. 

There are three beards in ZZ Top.