In general, I’m not a fan of anything that is titled one
thing (the Academy Awards), but called something else entirely (the Oscars.) It’s
annoying and makes me think you’re just trying to make it appear like a real
person. More so than that, the choice of actors and best picture nominations are
usually not only annoying, but insulting. I get that more popular, mainstream
films stand a greater chance to appeal to the masses, and honestly, they
often are the winners, which makes sense, sure. But do you really have to include a bunch of films and actors I have
never heard of and no one has even watched? I remember sitting down and viewing
all of the films nominated one year, each one being a disappointment. It was
1992; Howard’s End put me to sleep before the beginning, Scent of a Woman
smelled like sweaty feet, and the Crying Game… A Few Good Men was just an
A-list rip off of Law & Order, so don’t even act like that’s a saving
grace. There have been other years where all of the films were good to great,
like 1990 and 1991, which primarily showcased a bunch of guy flicks. But
usually, and pretty much the majority of other years, they have to slip some
film snob crap in there, like the Pianist, starring Adrian Brody’s annoying
looking face, sponsored by Starbucks, Apple, and stupid looking sweaters. They
even once had a movie about a talking pig. I rest my case. Or I could continue.
Every time Daniel Day-Lewis does a movie, it’s almost a given he will be nominated or win best actor. If average Joseph was named Daniel Day-Lewis, I’d hit him right in the teeth, but D-Day has earned the right to have a hyphenated last name that suggests greatness due to his unrelenting portrayal of badassery in pretty much every role and his ability to tell Hollywood that he will be going on vacation for five years. Then there is Sean Penn, hipster personified. Not only is he a washed up actor, turned director, but he’s also a self-appointed diplomat that travels to other countries to speak against US foreign policy, behind heavily fortified walls, surrounded by armed bodyguards, 50 miles from militarized zones, and with a single-serve coffee machine, oh, and a photographer; what a brave man. Do you ever do anything that’s not about publicity, like, oh, I don’t know, act and direct? This year’s Lupus award for worst looking face to ever grace a screen goes to, Sean Penn, again. In short, just watch movies that sound interesting to you and not those weighted down by bullshit, elitist-voted awards that involve more politics than actual art.
Every time Daniel Day-Lewis does a movie, it’s almost a given he will be nominated or win best actor. If average Joseph was named Daniel Day-Lewis, I’d hit him right in the teeth, but D-Day has earned the right to have a hyphenated last name that suggests greatness due to his unrelenting portrayal of badassery in pretty much every role and his ability to tell Hollywood that he will be going on vacation for five years. Then there is Sean Penn, hipster personified. Not only is he a washed up actor, turned director, but he’s also a self-appointed diplomat that travels to other countries to speak against US foreign policy, behind heavily fortified walls, surrounded by armed bodyguards, 50 miles from militarized zones, and with a single-serve coffee machine, oh, and a photographer; what a brave man. Do you ever do anything that’s not about publicity, like, oh, I don’t know, act and direct? This year’s Lupus award for worst looking face to ever grace a screen goes to, Sean Penn, again. In short, just watch movies that sound interesting to you and not those weighted down by bullshit, elitist-voted awards that involve more politics than actual art.
"Whoa, bra, you should like, leave the
Falkland Islands alone. Hehehehehe."