I am thankful for Werewolves because in the event there is a
zombie apocalypse, vampire uprising, or a dull night at the police station on a
full moon, they will make everything awesome. It’s probably why they were
invented after Noah ran his boat into the God dam, flooding the world; He had
an ultimate plan. Look what happened to vampires. It’s obviously evolution,
since they went from apex predators to sparkly, teen heartthrobs who date
anemic girls with average looks. Werewolves have, for the most part, stayed
cool, even when only looking like Wolverine (another W people should be
thankful for.) Werewolves also eat zombies, so another problem solved. If
you’re worried about what they would do to the police, well, they will have to
use silver bullets, or handcuffs for non-violent offenders. As a protected
species, it is our duty to make sure they are not exploited like the Twilights.
If not, you can expect My Little Werewolf, with various color eyes and fur,
brushes, barrettes, and even a bath-time model.
Not cool. Well, okay, maybe a little.