“If there’s any doubt, there is no doubt.” – Larry Fishburne
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Have It Your Way
Why the hell do fast food restaurants hand you your drinks without straws? I understand it's hard to have the most common items on your menu ready and I have to pull up like some dipshit that special ordered like health was the key issue when ordering fast food. But when you hand me two drinks with no straws, how the hell am I supposed to drink them? No, I'm not taking the lid off, because it's cheap plastic that will more than likely break when pressed on again. In the rare event you're given your straws with your drinks, they always have additional straws in the bag of food they give you. You can always keep these for the next time they hand you your drinks without straws, but then there is the problem that this event is rare to begin with. Screw you, McDonald's (generic for all fast food).
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Stop Making Up Stories On the Internet
...or Stop Sharing Made Up Stories On the Internet.
"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he wasn't Kevin Spacey." —Keyser Söze
A little story:
I was walking down the street the other day when I noticed a group of homophobic, Jewish, Republicans from Texas physically assaulting a gay, atheist, Democrat (with tattoos and piercings as well as a 3.9 GPA in economics.) I just simply couldn't stand by like the rest of humanity and watch this poor man be treated like that, so I decided to make a stand. Together we defeated all of the homophobic, Jewish, Republican, rapist, space invaders, pretending to be from Texas. It turns out that the person they were actually beating on was my long lost sweetheart from high school and we quickly went and got married; she's now expecting and our courageous deeds have saved mankind for another one-thousand years.
The moral of this story is I spin wildly retarded tales on the internet to make me and the morons who think like me feel less guilty for being insignificant in a world where they only support the call for change while behind their IP addresses. And people will share them.
If you have not seen stories as ridiculous as this on the internet, consider yourself lucky (unless you are blind and your seeing eye dog is reading this to you.) Sadly, I am not making this formula up or the fact that people constantly share this crap out of their perceived empathy.
These stories are so obviously bullshit because there is no way you can tell that much information about people by simply looking at them. Have you ever heard a cop call dispatch for an APB looking for a white male in his 40's that plays Magic the Gathering and drinks Corona every Saturday night? No, because this information isn't readily available and it's all information you couldn't possibly guess without having a conversation with someone. I have no clue what religion someone is (and don't care) unless they're repenting the following morning. Believe it or not, you work with people of different religious, political, cultural, social, psychological, astronomical, necronomical beliefs than you and you'll probably never know what theirs are, because they have no reason to tell you (and if you did and yours were different, they would assault you.)
Monday, October 1, 2012
100% Chance of Not Knowing the Definition of Chance
Chance /CHans/
Noun: A possibility of something happening.
It really pisses me off whenever I check the weather and see that there is a 100% chance of rain. That's the same thing as saying it will rain. These numbers usually show up whenever it is already raining outside. Cloudy means there's a 50% chance. But then there is actually a chance and not a guarantee, which 100% chance implies. Some of you might argue that they are rounding to the nearest ten, but then that is false reporting. If condom makers said condoms were 100% effective, they'd be lying. Instead they say they reduce the chances of pregnancy, STD and getting off. If I told you there was a 100% chance of rain and you didn't carry an umbrella, it'd be your fault. If I said condoms were 100% effective and you got AIDS after using one, it would be my fault. In conclusion, there is a 100% chance you could get AIDS if it rains.
The 8th Annual October Horror Movie Challenge
"Thirty one days, thirty one (31) horror movies.
At least sixteen (16) must be first time views.
The Challenge starts on October 1, 12:00AM (your time zone)
The Challenge ends on November 1 6:00AM (your time zone)"
I will now be blogging about the subjectivity of horror.
"The difference between Terror and Horror is the difference between awful apprehension and sickening realization: between the smell of death and stumbling against a corpse." — Devendra Varma
"Terror is usually described as the feeling of dread and anticipation that precedes the horrifying experience. By contrast, horror is the feeling of revulsion that usually occurs after something frightening is seen, heard, or otherwise experienced." — Wikipedia
In short, if you a) think it is horror, and b) are not a moron, it counts. A technical example that was once included and allowed was Full Metal Jacket (1987), because "the experience of war is something I will never forget."
I will be posting a list of my viewings with random thoughts on each. I normally try to watch nothing but new horror films, but I always get so many bad ones I usually switch over to ones I've already seen after suffering through sixteen crappy ones.
Optional Challenges
For those of you who like to crunch numbers:
Golgo-13 Bonus Challenge
Shortest Movie:
Longest Movie:
Busiest Day:
Average Length:
Total Length:
For those of you who like vampires:
Alchemie's Vampire Challenge
"Watch 17 vampire films during the October Horror Movie Challenge starting October 1st at midnight YOUR time - with at least 8 of them being first time views, and write a review of at least one sentence in poetic form. If more than one person does this, I will pick which one had the best poems.
You may reply here to either ask vampire or rules questions OR start by logging your nickname space. Save your movie watches though, in case this ends up getting deleted.
You can win your choice of a FREE copy of either:
Midnight Kiss (1993-DVD)
OR Blood Ties (1991-VHS)
OR Perfect Creature (2006-DVR-Region 2)"
For those of you who rule:
The Insanislupus Full Moon Challenge
Normally the rules would change every single year so that a fresh new challenge would await all participants and I see nothing abnormal about this year (aside from the fact it will be cut short by an apocalypse.)
This year's challenge is "How many werewolf films can you watch the night of October 29th, under the full moon, starting as soon as the moon is visible to the naked eye, and ending when it is not?"
The winner will receive 29 words, no more, no less, about how they rule in their own blog entry.